“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.” –Mark Twain
The game of golf can be a maddening exercise in futility. Some days you’re the bug. Some days you’re the windshield! And the margin between going low and ballooning to a triple-digit score is razor-thin. It is the ultimate reflection of mental attitude and resilience.
But when I first picked up the game, my low moments FAR exceeded my high moments. I would go entire rounds without hitting a single serviceable shot. My enthusiasm was muted, my execution was poor, and my enjoyment of the game was waning as quickly as my confidence. I felt I was actually getting worse with each swing of the club.
But a few rounds of golf with my brother-in-law was exactly what I needed to refill my reservoir of resilience during that fragile time. He was positive. He was upbeat. And he always went out of his way to offer a word of encouragement. After one particularly horrific shot, I slumped my shoulders and hung my head in disgust. He was having none of it!
“You just don’t see how close you are, do you?”
I shook my head. No. I definitely did NOT feel close to anything, other than giving up the game.
My brother-in-law put his thumb and forefinger an inch apart and squinted his eyes.
“You’re THIS close to being great!”
And the funny thing is, he believed it. And because someone believed in me, I believed that I could get better. It shifted my perspective entirely. Now every errant shot felt one step closer to greatness. Now every quality shot wasn’t a fluke, but rather the manifestation of my destiny! Now I wanted to play more because I could envision success. This cascading positive circle helped elevate my entire game. And it all started with words of encouragement and some faith.
And shouldn’t we all surround ourselves with these people in our work and personal lives?
Encouragement Matters
In our work lives, we can’t always see the progress we are making. We can become despondent if we botch a deal. We can become discouraged if our stock price falls. We can lose faith in ourselves if we take the company in the wrong direction. We can lose confidence if we let our partners down. Oftentimes, we magnify our mistakes and missteps so acutely, we lose all perspective. Instead of seeing any positive progress, we see only the disappointing result.
What can pull us out of this spiral? It doesn’t take much. A manager who believes our best is yet to come. An employee who never stops fighting for the team. An owner who cares about the long-term welfare of the workers. A coach who sees potential in a player and lets them know. It starts with genuine care and concern. It ends with our ability to express that belief and encouragement. We all have blind spots. We all lose faith. We all hit a wall of frustration at some point in our lives. We can’t always climb back to the top of the mountain alone. We need words of encouragement and someone to show us how close we are to being great.
We Are On the Right Path
But what happens when someone isn’t THIS close? What if success is a distant spot on the horizon? It won’t serve us to offer trite slogans and empty words of encouragement if we don’t believe in someone. But if we do, it doesn’t matter how far off course they are. We can still actively participate in their lives. We can still offer advice and encouragement and guide them closer to their goals. We can still help them be the best version of themselves. We can still believe in them and express how much we care.
The reality is that I’m not particularly close to greatness in golf. That is okay. I’ve gotten so much enjoyment out of the game simply because someone believed. And imagine the impact we could have on our corner of the world if we expressed similar faith in one another?
We may not be able to see it ourselves. We may feel frustrated and anxious. But as long as someone believes in us, we will never be far off course. As long as someone is there to offer encouragement, success will be within our grasp. The battle is on and we are ready to fight. And we are THIS close to being great!
Hank Lilly made me a believer in June 2002 after Mass…when I told him we’re set to play our opening football game @ West Point. “Daver, you’re going to win. You know why??? Because, you’re a winner. And I’ll be there.” 30-21 Crusaders.
Boom. Perfect case in point. It’s easier to win when someone thinks you’re a winner!