Golf has always been a sport of contradictions for me.  I love to get out in the great outdoors and spend time in competition with good friends.  Nothing better.  But the game does not come naturally to me, and I inevitably struggle with confidence at various points on the links.  Serenity now!

Last weekend was a perfect case in point.  It was a cloudless, California-cool day with no bugs and a gentle breeze.  A relaxing time surrounded by great friends.  My game was the typical Jeckyl-and-Hyde roller coaster, but my partner and I “ham and egged” our way to a convincing win as we approached the 18th hole.

But we all knew what was coming: the dreaded “Aloha” bet–double or nothing on all wagers placed that day.  One…two..three…four…pressure!  Typically, I did not perform well in these situations.

After scrambling with a couple of miracle (lucky?) shots, I found myself 8 feet from the hole with a chance to secure victory and conquer my previous demons.  Sink the putt and win all bets outright.  Miss it, and risk losing across the board!

As I lined up the putt with slightly shaking hands, my teammate casually walked from the other side of the green and looked me in the eyes.

“You’re an athlete!  You got this!”  

The confidence was inspiring!  Immediately, all negative thoughts flowed away.  I stepped up to the ball, cocked back…and BAM!  Like a little mouse running into a hole. Winna! Winna! Chicken Dinna!

We all have those negative voices that whisper inside our heads from time to time.  And we all need positive reinforcement and encouragement from our friends, family, co-workers, and teammates to help shake off those doubts and reach our full potential.

Our Words Are Powerful

As managers, it is up to us to recognize the collective and individual strengths of our team members.  And when we do, we can’t be shy about letting them know we appreciate their talents.  Even the most confident member needs outside encouragement.  Our positive words are more powerful than we will ever know.

That is not to say we should be insincere.  We don’t need to go around blowing sunshine if it isn’t warranted.  We should only reinforce and comment on the behavior and actions we believe are making a difference.  But when we see incredible effort or insight, we have to share that positive feedback.  We all need to feel the love from time to time.  Encouragement builds confidence and leads to even more incredible outcomes!

Confidence Builds on Itself

And that is even more important in our personal lives.  Confidence is perhaps the greatest determinant of future success and happiness.  So why not try to foster it in the people we love?  As parents, our job is to develop and nurture that confidence in our children.  As friends, we always want to let our inner circle know how much we appreciate their special qualities.  As coaches, we strive to build a team that believes they can win every time they hit the field.  This all starts with encouragement.  This all starts with speaking the truth about how we feel.

Our words have incredible transformative power.  They can build confidence, build character, and create a winning culture.  One timely compliment or bit of encouragement can change the entire trajectory of someone’s life.  Winning just one time proves we have what it takes.  It becomes contagious.  And soon we pile up the victories and expect to win every time we set our minds to a task.  That is the compounding impact of confidence!

Good Times Are Ahead

We can all derive joy from encouraging others to reach their maximum potential.  And there is a reciprocal benefit to our positive aura.  The more people we help, the more people we encourage, the more we foster our own success.  We build a mutually beneficial network of success that spirals upward.  Now that is making our corner of the world a better place.

It’s not complicated.  Sometimes, we just need a simple spark.  And sometimes, we need to be that spark.

Relax.  Good times are ahead. It’s all about the power of confidence.