Where Are You On the Path?

The beach in Santa Monica, California.  One of the most beautiful places in the world with its sweeping views of the Pacific Ocean punctuated by the craggy expanse of the Malibu Mountains.  Many years ago, my wife and I lived in a tiny apartment right on the beach with a sliver view of the ocean.  It was glorious.  One morning, I went out on my customary jog along the main strand which winds through the California coastal beach towns.  A few miles into the run, an older man joined the path and immediately raced past me.  A couple minutes earlier, I was at peace with myself, soaking in the sunshine and the gorgeous views.  Now, I was discouraged by this old man’s pace and felt inferior and subordinate.  Was I really getting dusted by this guy?  As if he could read my mind, the old man whirled around and ran back toward me.

“How far are you into the run?”, he asked earnestly.

“Three miles or so”, I answered in return.

“I just started”,  the old man huffed.  ” I wish I could move at half your pace when I get three miles in!”

And then it hit me.  Why was I so focused on the progress of someone else?  Why was I letting him dictate my happiness?  Everyone joins the path at different points in the journey.  And you never know what is going on in someone else’s world.  Why couldn’t I focus on my own journey and be happy giving my best effort on the run?  And, in similar fashion, why do the rest of us take this approach in our work and personal lives?

For younger employees entering the workforce, it appears their older colleagues have a significant advantage.  This can be frustrating.  Why do the seasoned veterans get all the good accounts?  Why can’t I be as confident in a business setting?  When will people take me seriously?  They want to fast-forward their lives in order to gain valuable experience as well as additional clout and money.  Understandable.  Conversely, the older employees can view their younger counterparts as a threat to their livelihood.  How can I ever learn this new technology in order to keep up?  How can I maintain my energy to compete with these Young Guns?  How can I stay relevant in this rapidly changing world?  The reality is that all workers are on a different point on the path.  And all of us have our own strengths and weaknesses.  If we are just starting out, we have raw energy as an asset and our older colleagues can teach us so much about the business.  If we are a seasoned veteran, we have experience and confidence on our side and our younger colleagues can help us adapt to a new culture and master a new technology.   Regardless, we all have so much we bring to the table. We cannot waste our time with jealousy or self-critical introspection about our progress.  We can’t sell ourselves short.  We need to set our own pace and keep driving down the path.  Only we know where we  are in the journey.

The same is true in our personal lives.  We may get married early and settle into a big home with our family.  Or it may take us longer to find the right person and settle down.  We may have a tougher time making friends or we could have a massive social circle.  And all that could change instantly at any point in the journey.  We cannot compare ourselves with others whom we perceive to have so much more.  We don’t know where they are on their path.  We don’t know what makes them happy.  And we shouldn’t focus there.  We need to focus on our own journey.  At some point we will share the path with others who could be moving faster.  Do not let their circumstances influence your own vision of success and happiness.

Comparison is the thief of joy! –Franklin Delano Roosevelt

This is especially true when we suffer a setback.  Losing a job.  Losing a game.  Ending a relationship.  During these times, it can seem that everyone else is blissfully zooming by us on the path.  Why can’t we get a break?  Why are we the only ones suffering?  But the reality is that most people have something else going on in their lives.  If we are going to be resilient and move forward (and I know we are!), we can’t let others dictate our happiness.  We need to focus on our own next steps.   We need to be action-oriented and move our own lives forward.  We need to stay positive focus on our own happiness.  There are oceans and mountains and beautiful vistas all around us.  It’s time to get rolling!

Stick to your own pace.  Work hard but take time to enjoy the views.  Focus on your own peace and happiness and do not worry about keeping up with the Joneses.  Just when you think you are nearing the end of the path, another one will pop up with fresh and fascinating twists and turns. And when the path leads to a dark tunnel, keep moving forward until you break into the bright sunlight!  Your journey is never complete.  And your path will never end.

Until next week, keep smiling!