Father's Day

Here is to the guy who tells terrible jokes (“Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?  The food is great but there’s just no atmosphere!”).  Here is to the guy who scares off his daughter’s boyfriends (“Son, have you seen my shotgun collection?”).  Here is to the guy who is not afraid to make a fashion statement (“What do you mean I can’t wear my Heath Shuler jersey to the dinner party?”).  That’s right.  I’m talking about dear, old dad!  As we celebrated Father’s Day across the nation yesterday, countless dads were relaxing and enjoying leisure time on their own terms.  To some, it meant lying on the couch and watching golf.  To others it meant hiking, biking, or running without interruption.  To still others it meant enjoying quality time with the children.  Whether active or passive, alone or outnumbered, there was no right or wrong way to spend the day.  As long as dad was doing what made him happy as an individual, it was a great celebration of fatherhood for the family.  While it was a truly glorious day for fathers, shouldn’t we all strive to maintain our individuality and seek happiness on our own terms every day?

In our work lives, it can be easy to lose sight of our own goals and dreams.  Are we working in a profession because we are truly passionate about it?  Or are we doing it because it satisfies a perception of success?  Are we worried about what others think or are we pursuing our own, unique dreams?  Regardless, there will be hard work.  There will be menial tasks that frustrate us and setbacks that cause us to question our chosen path.  Life is not about lounging in the hammock all day!  But only you know what will bring you ultimate happiness.  It may not be about money.  It may not be about power.  It may not be about fame.  Perhaps you enjoy teaching and coaching our youth.  Perhaps you have a passion for persuasion that always gets your blood pumping.  Perhaps you enjoy the back office work that makes the engine run smoothly.  Perhaps taking care of the family delivers untold joy.  It doesn’t have to glamorous and high profile.  But whatever it is, strive to find meaning and satisfaction in your work.  Do not worry about what others think about your goals.  Happiness comes from doing what you love.  And no one knows what that means except YOU.

The same is true in our personal lives.  Relationships are unique to the individual.  One person’s perfect partner is another person’s nightmare.  You have to trust your own instincts and do what feels right at the time.  You will make mistakes.  You will suffer heartache.  You will question your own decisions.  But only you can determine what makes you happy.  Only you can decide whether to move on or move forward.  The same is true of our friends.  There is no pre-set formula for how we develop our friendships.  Typically, similar interests will bond a group together.  Athletics, arts, movies, children, schools.  We see these people on a regular basis and share a common set of values.  But sometimes, we form friendships outside our shared interests.  Sometimes, it is refreshing to spend time with someone who lives in an entirely different world.  Either way, those relationships and those friendships are unique to you.  And if they deliver mutual happiness and satisfaction, they are worth their weight in gold.

Your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Have the courage to follow your own heart and intuition. –Steve Jobs

So what does all this have to do with resiliency?  At some point, you will fail. At some point, you will feel all alone.  At some point, you will question all the decisions you have made along the journey.  In those times, it is up to you to find happiness.  It is up to you to find meaning and move forward.  If you have spent your life according to someone else’s perception of success, it will be difficult to find your way.  It you have spent your life with people who do not appreciate your individuality; it can be hard to find the strength to fight on.  But if you have lived life on your own terms, you know what it will take to get back on top.  If you have surrounded yourself with people who appreciate you unconditionally, you will find incredible strength through their guidance.  Resiliency starts with a deep belief in yourself and ends with the loving encouragement of your closest relationships. 

So live your life on your terms!  Maintain your own individuality!  Do not give in to other people’s perception of your happiness and success!  Live each day as it were Father’s Day (or Mother’s Day, Or Children’s Day, whatever!)  In the end, you will be left with your own powerful beliefs and the encouragement of your inner circle of trust. And, with those things in place, you will experience more happiness and satisfaction than you could ever imagine.

Until next week, keep smiling!