What Does It Mean to Be An Overachiever?

For the most part, we are living in a society of overachievers.  At work, we are constantly driven to be turned on and connected.  Take on additional responsibility for no extra pay?  That is part of the game!  Immediately respond to a work e-mail at 1am?  Table stakes!  Accept a promotion even if it doubles your commute?  Done and done.  We have to work harder to get ahead in a hyper-competitive world and the ante keeps skyrocketing.  At the same time, we are increasingly involved in every aspect of our family life. We drive and coach our children, volunteer at school, organize the household and, in some cases, care for our own parents.  The next generation is working equally hard as they are directed to take as many honors classes as possible, play club sports year round, and accept no less than Stanford or Harvard as a practical destination for college.  The cycle of overachievement is now complete!

The level of stress keeps ratcheting up, but I am not suggesting we take our foot off the pedal and settle for mediocrity.  Success should not be easy and it will take drive and determination to achieve both your work and personal goals.  Go for it!  But issues can arise when we begin to define ourselves by these goals.  There is danger in taking an “all or nothing” approach. This can lead to mental paralysis and a loss of self-worth.  If I don’t get the promotion, I am a failure as a worker.  If I am not elected President of the PTA, I am a failure as a parent.  If I don’t get into an Ivy League School, I am a failure as student.  Setbacks are a part of life.  There are so many factors which can cause you to fall short of your goals.  Stay focused on the ones you can control.  Effort.  Determination.  Attitude.  But understand that sometimes we encounter setbacks that we simply cannot control.  In those moments of failure, it is more important than ever to keep moving forward.  Reflect on what you can do better.  Analyze what truly makes you happy.  Re-focus your energy on your next great opportunity.  Many times your “Plan B” can be far more lucrative and rewarding than your original plan.  But you will never get there if you stay mired in the past.  You will never get there if you wallow in self-pity.  You will never get there if you let the setback on your original goals define you as a person.  If we are going to be resilient, we need to move forward and try new things without fear of failure.

As children, we all had dreams of what we wanted to be when we grew up.  Perhaps you dreamed of being a professional football player (Yes).  Perhaps a ballerina (No).  Perhaps the popcorn guy at the movie theater (hmmm…actually, for whatever reason, sometimes).  If you accomplished those dreams, congratulations!  If not, I am sure it was replaced by an equally powerful and perhaps more realistic dream.  As overachievers, we want to work as diligently as possible toward accomplishing those new goals.  There is a school of thought that discourages us from ever considering a backup plan. It can be construed as an admission of inevitable failure.  If this leads to perseverance and single-minded focus, that might be a good thing.  But also realize there will be setbacks along the journey.  If those setbacks prove too costly and start to eat away at your soul, recognize that you have options in life.  You are too strong to let yourself be defined by a single failure.

If failure is not an option, then neither is success.–Seth Godin

Passionately pursue your goals!  Live out your dreams!  Never stop believing in your ability!  As overachievers, there is so much we want to accomplish.  But do not let your dogged passion and enthusiasm devastate you when you encounter a roadblock.  Recognize that your goals and dreams may change.  Recognize that your latest failure brings you one step closer to defining your next success.  Recognize that if we are going to overachieve in anything, we must overachieve in resilience.

Until next week, keep smiling!