Few people take an interest in Iceland, but in those few the interest is passionate. -W. H. Auden
Legend has it that Iceland got its name from the early Norse settlers who stumbled upon this majestic green landscape. The settlers wanted this paradise all to themselves, naming the island “Iceland” to keep away everyone except the most adventurous Vikings. And for centuries, this anti-marketing campaign worked! Who in their right minds would go to a land filled with ice?
The reality, of course, is completely different. A magical place, teeming with waterfalls, glaciers, and amazing thermal pools, Iceland is the ultimate adventure. And having long been obsessed with the Nordic culture, and the Icelandic Sagas in particular, it was a dream to go there with two great buddies back in the summer of 1993.
The scenery was beyond compare (think “Game of Thrones” meets “Lord of the Rings”), the people were as friendly as they come, and the weather was perfect. But it was the nightlife that set the experience apart. Hundreds of bars and cobblestone squares filled with alcohol and drenched in 23 hours of perpetual sunlight. And we Carpe Diemed just about every one of those hours!
After three days and nights of pure joy, we finally came to the conclusion that the only way to make our 7am Tuesday departure flight, was to stay up all night. Not a problem! We left the Glaumbar in downtown Reykjavík at 1am, only to be greeted by blinding sunlight. Then we hit the town square for another couple hours of sun-soaked revelry before settling into the Hard Rock Cafe. Just as the band was finishing up, we recognized that nothing gold can stay. We flagged a taxi and headed straight to the airport.
With about 45 minutes to spare before the flight, someone came up with a brilliant idea.
“Let’s check out the airport bar!”
We didn’t need much convincing. But when we pushed open the doors to the drinking establishment, we couldn’t believe our eyes. It was 6am on a Tuesday morning and the place was packed with people. As we jostled and jockeyed for position at the bar, I yelled over to my two buddies.
“This is ridiculous. What a bunch of alcoholics!”
My one buddy paused. Then stated the obvious.
“Yeah. But we’re in here. Not really time to be throwing stones, is it?”
Hmmm. It was a good point. There I was judging others when I was in the same boat! And don’t we all have to be careful about that same hypocritical judgement in our own everyday lives?
Look Inward First
We curse the person who cuts us off in traffic as way too aggressive. We label the person lagging in their sales numbers as incompetent or lazy. We judge the failed entrepreneur for lacking vision. We mock the athlete who folds under pressure in the biggest moment. We pile on the announcer who flubs a line. We look down the nose of any behavior that is less than flattering. But haven’t we all been on the other side of this?
It’s easy to justify cutting someone off when we are running late to a meeting. When we are behind in our sales numbers, it is due to very specific circumstances in our accounts which couldn’t be avoided. When our business fails, it is the worst economic environment to start a company. How could anyone succeed? When we miss a shot, the sun was in our eyes or the wind just kicked up. When we stumble in a presentation, it was a highly complex point that no one could pull off.
We tend to think our own circumstances are different and unique. But maybe everyone else has unique circumstances as well. Maybe we should assume good intentions and recognize that everyone has some cross to bear. Maybe we should give each other a break. Maybe we should look inward before passing judgement. Maybe we’re not so different from those around us.
Climb the Mountain
The key to resilience is recognizing that we all have faults. We all have stumbled at some point. We all have made poor decisions. We all have had low moments we wish we could take back. We all have travelled bumpy paths that are more similar than different. Judgement throws up walls and only hinders our own ability to bounce back. It will require a slight shift in perspective. But the more we can stick together, the more we can help others get back on top after a setback. And the higher we will be able to climb our own mountains.
Resilience is a team sport. And we need everyone on the same team. So the next time you find yourself in an Icelandic airport bar at 6 in the morning, please hold your judgement. C’mon. Haven’t we all been there before?