A real friend is someone who walks in, when the rest of the world walks out. –Walter Winchell
I had the great pleasure of heading back to my college last weekend to re-connect with some old fraternity brothers. We mostly stay in touch over text, so it was spectacular to see them in person, learn more about their current lives, and relive the glory days. Our weekend was anchored around a basketball game, but there was a lot of catching up to do before and after the event.
As is often the case, we fell back into many of our old routines. And one of those routines involved visiting the finer drinking establishments in the college town. As we made our way from place to place, we inevitably got louder and louder. At our final destination, our decibel level reached a crescendo. And apparently the locals were not thrilled with our spirited banter.
At some point, I stepped away from the table to use the restroom. When I emerged, there were two local guys blocking the path back to my table. And they didn’t look particularly friendly.
“You guys are a little loud over there?”
“Sorry, boys. We’re just excited to see each other.”
As I casually slid past, they both stepped right into my personal space. Both with a not-so-smart, fightin’ sneer on their respective faces.
Uh-Oh. They always say nothing good ever happens after 1am!
My judgment was slightly impaired, but I knew enough to know that this was not good. Trouble was brewing. And, as Toby Keith so eloquently stated: “I ain’t as good as I once was!”.
I looked back over to my table of friends and yelled.
“WE GOT A SITUATION!”
Immediately, one of my larger buddies shot up from his seat and sprinted over. Within seconds, he was between me and the locals. And he had a simple question as he leaned in.
“Do we have a situation?”
The two locals backed off immediately. Even they knew the tide had turned. And, minutes later, they quietly slipped out the back door. Crisis averted.
It was a great moment of loyalty and friendship. But it also got me thinking. Who can we rely on in a tough situation? And how did we react when someone close to us faces a similar situation?
Resilience is a Team Sport
We have all experienced difficult moments. Financial hardship. Challenging relationships. Contentious client interactions. Thorny legal issues. Failed ventures. Debilitating losing streaks. During these times, we need to lean more heavily on our inner circle. We need friends and colleagues who will race to our side with no questions asked. We need the unwavering support of friends and family. Nothing tests a relationship like a good crisis.
And it is important to remember that as much as we need the support of others, we need to be that support in return. For our family, nothing is a greater priority. If there is a cry for help, we have to listen and respond. Unconditionally and immediately. For our close friends, if we sense something is wrong, we have to step away from our own priorities and step up to help. Sometimes, we have to set our own ego aside. Sometimes, we have to make others our main focus.
But rushing in to respond and defend doesn’t always “fix” a situation. Not everyone needs a hero to “solve” a problem. Addiction. The loss of a loved one. Isolation. Sometimes, people just need to know that we won’t run away. Sometimes, people just need to feel they are not alone. Sometimes, just sitting quietly nearby is the best thing we can offer.
We Need To Be There For Others
Our lives are filled with so much joy and laughter. There is so much we have to be thankful for in this world. And gratitude is both important and warranted. But at some point, we will all face a situation. And we can’t always make it through on our own. What do we need to stay resilient? We need someone who will rush by our side to help. We need someone who will stay with us as the fires rage from all sides. And most importantly, we need to BE that person for our own inner circle of friends and family.
Are you facing a tough situation? Relax. Breathe deeply. Every situation gets resolved. Someone will have your back. You’ll step up with strength you never thought you could muster. And everything will turn out just fine. Resilience is undefeated.