Many parents have gone through it. Especially if they are expecting for the first time. Childbirth classes! Young mothers, excited and nervous. Young fathers, supportive and slightly overwhelmed. It is a rite of passage that conjures up sentimental memories and heartfelt emotion. This is a story of one such class.
Many years ago, my buddy was expecting his first child. And his wife strongly suggested they both attend a birthing class. He was smart enough to say yes, but honestly had no idea what to expect. The first class was on a Saturday, and five couples showed up mostly eager to learn more about the magical world of childbirth.
The instructor was outgoing and enthusiastic and called the class to order with the energy of a ringleader. The couples sat in a semi-circle around her as she started off the first lesson.
“Okay, welcome. Welcome! Before we get started, it’s important to make sure BOTH partners are grounded and present. So I want to start with a question for our expectant fathers.”
The expectant fathers nervously shifted, knowing they were going to be put on the spot.
“Where else would you rather be than here in this class?”
She looked directly at my buddy to kick things off.
“Uh, who me? Yeah, good question. Hmm. I guess I would rather be at an Orioles game, I’m a big baseball fan, with a beer in one hand and a cigar in the other.”
Crickets. The instructor stammered for a bit and then shook it off. She looked to the next expectant father in the circle.
“Alrighty. Well, what about you? Where else would rather be than here in this class?”
The expectant father did not hesitate.
“There’s no other place I would rather be, than right here with my wife!”
Uh oh. My buddy was in trouble.
The instructor looked at the next expectant father in the circle.
“And what about you?”
Instantaneous answer.
“There’s no other place I would rather be, than right here with my wife.”
And so it went down the line. Identical responses without hesitation. With my buddy shrinking behind his birth ball with each successive answer.
It was a bad day for my buddy. And while he could have read the room a little more astutely, he was honest and open with his answers. And he didn’t allow politics or perception to cloud his responses.
And couldn’t we all use a little more of that in our everyday lives?
It’s Time to Speak Our Minds
We all have unique contributions, suggestions, and ideas that can lift any organization. But we have to be true those inner feelings and express the unvarnished version. We can’t offer opinions clouded by what we think other people want to hear. We can’t stifle our original idea and back a “safer” idea that had already been expressed. We can’t blindly follow when the world needs our fresh perspective.
And we don’t always have to have the “right” answer. How invigorating is it when someone honestly answers a question? Sometimes, we’re not the smartest person in the room. We don’t always have to pretend we know what we are doing. It’s okay to be vulnerable and admit we are in over our head. It’s okay to honestly share our fears. Creativity and growth regress when we are locked in the paralysis of groupthink and ego preservation. We can’t be afraid to throw it all there and speak our minds!
The World Needs More Authenticity
That’s not to say we should be tactless and inconsiderate. There are times when a little more civility can go a long way. (Yes, those jeans look PARTICULARLY good on you!) Our honesty doesn’t have to be brutal honesty! But we have to be ourselves. We can’t sugarcoat or tell people what they want to hear. We have to share freely without fear of consequence or rejection.
Resilience relies on that genuineness to power us in difficult moments. We have to be realistic and plainspoken about our situation. We have to express where we need assistance and overcome our ego to ask for help. And sometimes, we need to hear the difficult truth from someone close to us in order to help get us back on the right track.
The world needs more originality, more honesty, and more candid answers to difficult questions. It may not always go smooth or work out perfectly, but it will get us to place of authenticity and resilience.
Is there any other place you would rather be?