You don’t always have control over your situation.  But you have a choice about how you view it.” — Bono

St. Patrick’s Day celebrations run the gamut from the sublime to the ridiculous.  Everyone has their own way of celebrating, or not celebrating.  But for me, it is all about hanging out with family and good friends, and having an absolute blast!  And on one such day, I received a good lesson on the importance of perspective.

It was early in the evening when I stopped by a mellow gathering to meet a few friends.  Some of the guests were just starting their celebratory journey, some had been drinking green beer since breakfast.  I found one buddy who had just stopped by to quickly say hi before going to meet his new girlfriend (now wife).  We had just started chatting when we heard what sounded like a small aircraft taking off.  As we turned, a large, boisterous reveler had suddenly carved out an impromptu dance floor in the middle of the dining room.  And he was getting down.

Feeling no pain, the reveler picked up his dance partner and began twirling her (literally!) around the room.  And as he spun her legs high in the air, her high heel smacked my buddy right across the face.  Yard sale!  Eyeglasses went flying.  Drink went flying.  Down goes Frazier!  Bloodied but unbowed, my buddy staggered to his feet and regained his wits.  As blood poured out of his nose, the host of the party came over to console him.

“I’m so sorry this happened!”

My buddy shrugged it off nonchalantly, and gently placed an icepack over his nose. Nothing seemed to faze him.

“Aren’t you upset?”  

My buddy put down the ice pack and grabbed a cold beer.

“Not really.”

Then he took a long swig and placed the bottle against his nose.

“The way I see it, there were plenty of nights I went out and DIDN’T get kicked in the face.  I was probably due.”

Classic.  And couldn’t we all benefit from that perspective in our own lives.

We Can’t Take the Upside for Granted

In our work lives, it is very easy to obsess over the trials and tribulations that ultimately befall us.  We hit a speed bump and immediately focus on the negative. How could my client choose another firm?  The markets just torpedoed another one of my deals.  I can’t believe HE got that promotion!  The calls are always going against me.  Why am I always getting screwed?  It feels as though the world is conspiring against us.

But how many times have we been grateful for keeping a client?  How many times have favorable markets inadvertently raised our sales?  How many times have we gotten a promotion that could have easily gone to someone else?  How many times has a questionable call gone in our favor?  Celebrating and acknowledging our accomplishments is important.  But it is even more important to recognize our good fortune, even when it is not obvious.   We can’t take the upside for granted and only focus on the times that didn’t go our way.  Perspective is a close friend of resilience.  A lot has gone right for us to be still breathing, still grinding, and still enjoying the company of those we love!

Setbacks Don’t Define Us

The reality is that we will all spend some time in the spin cycle. Adversity, heartache, and just plain bad luck happen to all of us.  If we haven’t had those negative experiences, we simply aren’t trying hard enough!  But how do we react when fortune stops smiling upon us?  Do we act like a victim?  Do we shift the blame?  Do we curl into a ball and give up on the game?  Or do we count our blessings for all the times when things actually went right for us?  Taking time to appreciate the positives, even in the midst of a storm, is a sure path back to a resilient life.

It’s not always going to be easy.  Things won’t go our way and those negative events can taint our outlook and sap our motivation.  But we have to take some time and step back from the immediate commotion.  Most things are only a blip on the radar, and not a negative trend.  We have enjoyed so much good fortune.  We can’t let a few setbacks define our lives.  Sure, we will get bloodied and bruised.

But there were plenty of nights when we DIDN’T get kicked in the face.