Legendary Washington Post journalist Bill Gildea passed away last week after a long battle with Parkinson’s disease.  I did not know him personally.  Never saw him on television, didn’t follow him on Twitter (and doubt he had an account) and, in fact, could not pick him out of a lineup.   And I suppose that is the point.

But I did admire the writing style of his columns.  I did marvel at the fact that, to a person,  he was regarded as an incredible human being with genuine character. And I will always have a soft spot in my heart for his book, “The Future is Now”, about iconic football coach George Allen.  You never forget your first book.

I had a chance to briefly catch up with Bill’s son, Dave, a friend from high school, this week.   He remarked that his father would be honored, but embarrassed, by all the attention he had received since his passing.  Bill Gildea was a man who shied away from the spotlight.  In fact, he had a quote that poetically summed up his philosophy and his life:

And an aspirational beacon for the rest of us to model our lives.

“The story is not about me, I just tell it.”

Bill Gildea did not have to be the star.  He was a conduit to help other people see beauty in the world through the subjects of his columns and books.  And in this day and age of “look at me” social media and egomaniacal jockeying for the spotlight, that is a welcome breath of fresh air.We Don’t Have to be the Stars

As entrepreneurs, we have to layout the vision of our company.  We have to be strong.  But we don’t have to be the star of the story.  The best leaders write a story about something bigger than themselves that we all want to follow.  As managers, it is tempting to take credit for the work of our team and exaggerate our personal contribution.  We all want to get ahead.  But understanding the story and igniting the dreams of our individual team members is the fastest and most satisfying path to personal success.

We don’t always need a megaphone to promote our own careers.  If we stay true to our morals and sense of purpose, we can help other people live out their purpose.  And in doing so, create a more positive work environment that benefits the collective whole.  We can influence, advise, mentor, and change our corner of the world without putting our own agenda at the center of the story.

Egos and Relationships Don’t Mix

And the same is true in our personal lives.  It’s about our friends. It’s about our family.  It’s about our children.  It’s about our relationships.  At times, we have to be tough and deliver the unvarnished truth.  At times, we have to nudge someone down a path.  But it is out of a desire to improve and influence their story, not our story.

Our relationships cannot be driven by ego or power.  We do not have to be at the center of every conversation.  Empathy does not require the spotlight.  We have to create an atmosphere where our loved ones can be the stars.   And in doing so, our relationships will grow that much closer.  That is the payoff.

Let Our Talent Shine

However, that doesn’t mean we have to be timid and retiring.  If we have talents, we need to confidently share them with the world.  If we have something to say, we need to boldly proclaim our viewpoint.  If our actions and exploits draw accolades, we should be proud!  There is nothing wrong with recognition and attention.  We just have to realize that our talents and accomplishments are not about us.  They are a means to help other people live a better story.

How are we spending our time?  How many people have we helped? What is our legacy?  It’s not an easy path.  We will all stumble and get caught up in this “look at me” world.  That is okay.  We need help and we are never alone. There are others who have carved a path to show us the way.

Thank you, Bill Gildea. I didn’t know you but your life told one incredible story.