By now, we have all heard about the Colonial Pipeline ransomware attack and the cascading repercussions of shutdowns and gas shortages up and down the East Coast.  In an effort driven purely by greed, now-defunct criminal enterprise Darkside effectively disrupted the gas supply chain, unleashing mass chaos at the gas pumps this week.  For those of us old enough to remember, it created scenes eerily similar to the gas shortages of the mid-to-late 1970s.  Massive lines at the gas pumps?   The humanity!

If you happened to be caught on empty when the shutdowns began, the panic was real.  There is a high level of stress created when something you take for granted is suddenly ripped away. And empty or not, many East Coasters did the inevitable.  They flooded the gas stations, braving long lines and desperately searching for pumps that were not covered with yellow plastic bags (thanks for the assist, GasBuddy!).

But the coverage of such events quickly turned decidedly negative.  One national news program featured a holier-than-thou host wagging his finger at the American public:

“You people waiting in line for gas are idiots.  And you are ruining it for the rest of us. Stay home.  Don’t Panic.  You are the ones creating this mess.”

Really?  Idiots?  Was there no sympathy for the parents who had to get their children to events the next morning?  Or the office worker who was deemed essential and needed to get home?  Or the countless Americans who had someplace to go and limited fuel to get there?  There was some needless panic.  And I’m sure some people were above half a tank and looking to top off.  But we’ve all been on both sides of this.  We don’t always need to create an “us vs. them” environment.  Sometimes, we have to put ourselves in other people’s shoes.  Sometimes we have to look in the mirror before we so quickly judge others.

We Need to Assume Good Intentions

Of course, it’s annoying when someone speeds through the open lane and then cuts into the crowded exit lane at the last second.  We have all been frustrated by the loudmouth talking on his or her cellphone in the movie theater.  Or the know-it-all at the office.  Or the guy who takes up two parking spots.  Or the girl hoarding toilet paper.  The list goes on and on!

But did we ever stop to consider the motivation of these people?  Perhaps the person cutting over in traffic is late to an appointment or rushing to the hospital.  Perhaps the loudmouth at the theater just got an emergency call from the babysitter.  Perhaps the know-it-all feels inadequate on the homefront and overcompensates at the office.  Perhaps the guy taking up two parking spots had his mind on more serious issues.  Perhaps the girl hoarding toilet paper simply could NOT spare a square!

We need to assume good intentions. Not everything is an “abomination”.  Not everyone is an “idiot”.  Not everyone is out to get us.  We are not always the victim of someone’s intentional actions.  Sometimes, folks just screw up.  And the less we judge and the more empathy we can share in the moment, the more resilient we can be.

We’re All in This Together

But let’s face it, there are some tools out there in the world.  Sometimes, they are selfish and self-focused.  Sometimes, they are reckless and egotistical.  Our natural inclination is to lash out.  And if they are endangering us or someone we love, this is warranted. We can’t let anyone harm the people closest to us.  But most of the time, their behavior is boorish but harmless.  We feel personally affronted but it actually has little impact on our lives.

And we have to ask ourselves if we have ever behaved poorly in the past.  Have we ever leaned on the horn the instant the light turns green?  Have we ever PRETENDED to pick up our dog’s waste? Have we ever spit our gum out on the sidewalk?  Have we ever taken credit for someone else’s idea?  Have we ever cut someone off in mid-sentence?  Have we ever bragged too much about our kids?  Really?  Never ever?

The more we label everyone else as “idiots”, the more we put our own behavior on a pedestal.   And the harder it is to recover when we ultimately fail to live up to our unrealistic expectations.  We need to give ourselves and other people a break.  We need to recognize that we are capable of the same boorish behavior at some point in our lives.  We all make mistakes and we are all in this together.

So beware of judging that idiot waiting in line for gas on half a tank.  Because that idiot might just be you.