Social Media takes a lot of heat these days. I get it! But it does have a place in this world. It can be a great way to stay in touch with old friends, share updates on our lives, and have a little fun along the way. And, for me, it is a good source for keeping up with the adventures of my friends’ children as they weave their way toward adulthood.
In one such update, a good buddy from high school posted a cool picture of his daughter embarking upon an amazing adventure out West to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. The caption of the picture referenced the classic Johnny Cash and June Carter song, Jackson (“She’s going to Jackson. Yeah, Jackson here she comes!”) As I read the comments, I noticed several friends offering additional comments about the song in particular, and Johnny Cash in general. Why not? I decided to join in the fun! And so I posted “Hotter than a pepper sprout!”, an obvious quote from the song. (If you don’t know it, do yourself a favor and listen to it immediately!)
Thinking nothing of it, I put the post out of my head entirely. A few weeks went by and I ran into my buddy at a party. He smiled wide when I saw him and I knew something was up.
“What was the deal was that comment on Facebook?”
Huh? Oh, right. The Johnny Cash post!
“I’m not sure that came across the way the way you meant it to come across.”
I still wasn’t getting it.
“Whaddya mean? It was a quote from the song. Remember?”
“Yeah, I remember the song.”
“So, wasn’t it obvious I was referencing the song?”
He let out a long sigh.
“That’s not the way people read social media.”
Once again, I shrugged my shoulders. Then he made it plainly obvious.
“Basically, I posted a picture of my teenage daughter and you replied ‘Hotter than a pepper sprout!'”
Gulp! Noooooooooooo!!!!
It took me a while to regain my equilibrium. Then I thought about it from his perspective.
“Wow. Thank you for not punching me in the face when I posted that!”
He clearly knew it was a harmless gaffe and was more amused than angry. Based on our long friendship, he assumed good intentions and didn’t read more into it. We both had a good laugh.
And wouldn’t we all be better off if we took that same approach in our everyday lives?
We Have to Focus on the Positive
In our work lives, there is room for interpretation and not all communication is crystal clear. An employee may be missing more work than usual. A boss may be extra demanding as a deadline approaches. A co-worker may appear to be angling us out of a deal. A teammate may seem indifferent or aloof. There are times when it seems no one cares about our progress or contributions. Left unsaid, there is a lot of room for negative interpretation. But we can’t assume the worst in every scenario. Sometimes, we have to have faith and trust in the process.
Perhaps an employee is missing work because of troubles on the homefront. Perhaps our boss is under increasing pressure from the Board. Perhaps our co-worker is only trying to galvanize the deal for our benefit. Perhaps our teammate needs some support and is too proud to ask for help. Perhaps everyone else is so overwhelmed reaching their goals, they don’t have time to notice our contributions. It does us no good to speculate on the worst-case scenario. It does us no good to assume the worst in people. That is a surefire way to poison company culture and hinder our personal growth. We have to stay focused on the positive. We have to view things from another perspective. We have to assume good intentions.
We Need to Give Each Other a Break
Granted, we don’t always have a long history of friendship and positive interactions to fall back on. Sometimes, people will try to take advantage of us. Sometimes, people will act out of self-preservation and destroy the vibe and team bonding. Sometimes, people will intentionally come after the ones we care about the most. And when this happens, we have to take a hard line. We have to go to the mattresses. We can’t be passive and allow this to go down without a challenge.
But this can’t be our default position. We can’t search out reasons to be outraged. In the absence of concrete information, we can’t look at every scenario and assume the worst in people. Most of the time people make honest mistakes. Or they make poor decisions without harmful intent. Or they are clueless when it comes to social media protocol (Ahem!)
My friend could have been furious. He could have stewed silently, or worse, punched me in the face. But he didn’t. He understood it was a silly blooper. And he assumed good intentions.
And that is a great reminder for all of us this time of year.