What can the discipline of Jujutsu teach us about resiliency? Plenty! And what exactly is Jujutsu? Jujutsu is a Japanese martial art and method of close combat designed for defeating an armed opponent without using a weapon. This discipline promotes the concept that a smaller, weaker person can successfully defend themsleves against a bigger, stronger assailant by using proper technique, leverage, and balance. While there are many interesting tactics and strategies to explore in Jujutsu, one in particular resonates with the Resilient Worker. When defending against an attack from a hostile assailant wielding a stick or bat, the proper technique is counterintuitive. Our instincts tell us to cover up and protect our head. But, next to just standing there and absorbing the blow, this is actually the worst thing we can do. By covering up, we open ourselves to injury (a broken arm or wrist) which only weakens our ability to fight and makes it easier for the assailant to strike again. The proper technique is to actually step toward the person with the bat. Stepping to the danger gives you the best chance to overwhelm your assailant. This takes away the power from the blow entirely and allows you to go on the offensive at close range (I pity the fool!)
The reality is that we all come under attack at some point in our everyday lives. There may be no weapons, but the attacks are no less threatening. An insecure boss. A jealous colleague. An uninformed customer. An angry parent. A cranky child or spouse. Oftentimes, these attacks are not about us. So do not justify the outbursts by fighting fire with fire. That will only bring even sharper rebukes. Instead, step toward the person with the bat and turn the conversation around. When someone attacks your business plan, trivializes your project or criticizes your sales approach, it is only natural to get defensive. But reacting with hostility or appearing overly sensitive only puts you in a weaker position. Acknowledge the person directly and thank them for their feedback. Do not make it about you, but rather ask questions that demonstrate you have the broader team’s interest in mind. Your calm and dispassionate response will demonstrate leadership and immediately disarm your attacker. Now you can go on the offensive and promote your idea or approach with credibility and grace. In our home lives, an argument with a spouse or a “debate” with a child can escalate quickly. When under attack, the same principle applies. Getting defensive and lashing back only justifies the attack. Acknowledge. Engage. And step forward. An emotional response will be met with more dissonance. Step toward the person with the bat. Oftentimes, the bat will fall harmlessly to the ground and both of you can move forward with your lives.
I am not suggesting we need to lay down and let people walk over us like a carpet. We need to defend our ideas. We need to defend our character. We need to be mindful when someone is stepping toward us. Do not shy away from the attack. Do not let someone else force you into a defensive position. Idleness is not resilient. Curling into a ball and throwing our arms up is not resilient. Resilience is about action! But let those actions come from a place of strength. Let those actions come with a broader strategy in mind. Do not make their problem your problem. Step forward toward your fears. Step forward toward your naysayers. Step forward toward anyone trying to take away your dreams. You will find that their bat will have no power. You will find that you can now move forward with dignity and accomplish your goals on your terms.
People tend to criticize most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need—Gary Chapman
Recognize that your attackers have their own issues. Step toward them and root out the real cause of their aggression. You are too strong to let them impact your goals. You are too strong to let them impact your disposition. You are too strong to let them impact your attitude! Stay resilient. Stay positive! Move forward! And don’t be afraid to step toward the bat.
Until next week, keep smiling!