Sports can teach us so many valuable life lessons and play a central role in developing character and work ethic. And few things give me greater pleasure than watching my own children participate in athletics. Win or lose, no matter how big or small the venue, it is a thrill to see them compete.
My daughter Riley had a particular passion for lacrosse and was enjoying her Covid-shortened senior season. A relentless defender, she brought pure hustle and fierce determination to the game. Unfortunately, a slight misstep in a game last week led to a freak accident on the field. She heard a loud pop and felt a sharp pain. The rest is history. She had torn her ACL (along with a few other things!) and had to call it a career. Noooo!
To be sure, it was a tough moment for her and there is no sugar-coating it. But the outpouring of support, from her friends to her family to her doctors (Thank you Drs. Gardiner and Raffo!) was incredibly heart-warming. It is comforting to know that she is, and always will be, in good hands.
But the show of support for my wife and me was equally impressive. Unfortunately, there is a long list of parents with children (particularly young women) who have suffered similar injuries. Hearing their journey and the ultimate recovery of their son or daughter gave us hope and solace. And it demonstrated how important the simple act of reaching out and connecting can have on our ability to bounce back. When it comes to resilience, it really does take a village!
Empathy Makes Us Stronger
Empathy is a powerful force. At some point, everyone has gone through adversity. Everyone has had to struggle through some difficult periods. When adversity strikes, it feels as though we are all alone with our problems. But our resilience increases exponentially when we know someone else has walked in our shoes and emerged safely and securely on the other side. And the more we can share our own experiences, the more we can provide hope to others.
It’s all about connecting to help someone else down a similar path. The struggling salesperson benefits by hearing from a manager who has turned their own career around. The bankrupt entrepreneur needs to learn from a successful mentor who had to overcome multiple failures before they tasted victory. The jilted lover needs the support of a friend who found true love after a similar experience. The floundering student can find hope from a teacher who overcame their own classroom struggles.
No one wants to feel alone. And the simple act of communication and empathy can connect us together and make us stronger.
Communication Fosters Resilience
But what if we have never had a similar experience? What if we have nothing in common with the person going through the struggle? Prior to my daughter’s injury, I had no context to the process and certainly could offer any concrete advice. But looking back, I should have been more empathetic when those injuries occurred. Now I get it!
We don’t always have to offer prescriptive advice. Sometimes, we just need to listen. To be a sounding board. To let others know we care and we are thinking about them, even if we can’t offer them a path to recovery. Resilience thrives in a community and dies in solitude. The more we can communicate when adversity strikes, the more we can break down the walls and foster that resilience in others.
Empathy doesn’t require much. But it does require us to be intentional. It does require us to focus outward. It does require us to actively share our experiences with others. There is no upside in trying to go through it alone. Because there is nothing we can’t overcome together.
Rob – don’t ever undersell your capacity for empathy. I will never forget it.
Thank you, Mrs. Flynn! Always there for you and Mr. Flynn!