Please! Please! Please! Don’t Hit the Ball To Me!

Summer is in full swing in the Washington, DC region!  And that means long, humid nights, trips to the pool or beach, and an abundance of summer baseball.  As I was driving home from work the other evening, I must have passed a dozen fields, all buzzing with Little League activity.  But one particular player on one particular field caught my eye and hurtled me 35 years back in the time machine.  He was playing WAY out in center field, with his shoulders slumped and his eyes downcast at the grass beneath his feet.  Every bit of his body language screamed “Please!  Please! Please! Don’t hit the ball to me!”  I instantly recalled the days of my early childhood in a similar position.  I could hit.  I could run.  But I lacked confidence in the outfield.  I would pray each inning that the ball would stay in the infield.  But how was I going to get better if I was never tested?  How was I going to help the team by spectating like a statue?  How could I achieve success through my stagnation and inaction?  And how many of us take a similar approach in our work and personal lives?

In our professional lives, there are “blind spots” where we lack confidence.  Perhaps we are afraid to speak up in meetings.  We watch the clock and pray no one directs the conversation our way until we can surreptiously slink out the door.  Perhaps we have trouble grasping a new technology, a new method of teaching or coaching, or a new sales technique.  Instead of embracing the change, we hunker down with our normal approach and pray we never have an opportunity to put it into action.  Perhaps we are afraid of climbing the corporate ladder into a leadership position.  Instead of stretching beyond our perceived limitations, we opt for the comfort of the cubicle and the tiresome routine of self-management.  But the reality is, we are never going to reach our potential unless we want that ball to come your way!  Speak up in those meetings!  Even if you stammer and stutter your way through the discussion, at least people know you care.  And you will get better with every attempt!  Dive into a new approach or new technique.  Even if it is not comfortable, there is no downside.  And it might just catapult your career!  Don’t shy away from leadership.  You may get rejected and end up back in the cube.  But you’ll never know unless you stretch beyond comfort zone!  You can’t be a spectator to your own career.  You must actively participate.  You must actively engage.  And you must be willing to fail in order to ultimately triumph.

The same is true in our personal lives.  You can’t start a relationship by staring at your feet and praying nobody notices you.  You can’t discipline your child by burying your head in the sand and praying the behavior improves on its own.  You can’t resolve a conflict by pretending it doesn’t exist.  Interpersonal connections are messy and complex.  And the only way to live is to step right into the madness!  Take a chance and strike up a conversation with someone who may dismiss you.  If you don’t try, you have already been rejected.  Be direct and firm with your child when you know they have pushed beyond normal limits.  If you don’t, how will they know they need to change?  Address conflict with a direct conversation.  If you don’t, that conflict will simmer into a war.  And is that what you really want?  It will not be easy.  There will be stomach-churning moments of angst and despair.  But you must be an active player in the game.  You can’t be afraid of the ball!

But what happens when you call for the ball and it bounces out of your glove?  What happens when you cost your team the game?  You have to accept that by playing in the game, failure is a potential  outcome.  But even if the ball drops at your feet, at least you are moving forward. At least you are exerting effort.  At least you are participating in the game of life.  And most importantly, by playing and failing,  at least you are exercising your resilient muscles.  Otherwise, how will you know how sweet success can taste unless you experience defeat?  How will you know how great you can become unless you test your limits?  Let the ball come to you.  Just playing the game will lead you on a glorious path to resilience.

Every strike brings me closer to my next home run. –Babe Ruth

You are not a spectator in your own life.  Call for the ball and honor your teammates and family with your passion. You never know what will happen when the ball sails your way.  Sometimes you will catch it.  Sometimes, it will fall to the ground.  But each time you will be giving maximum effort.  Each time you will gain more confidence.  And each time, your resiliency will ultimately lead you to success and happiness.  Let’s take that first step today.  It’s time to play ball!

Until next week, keep smiling.