It was the Summer of 1985 in Washington, DC. A LONG TIME AGO! And the world was a different place. Ronald Reagan was President. Cellphones and the internet didn’t exist. Wham! and Tears for Fears were dominating the radio airwaves (and vinyl record collections). New Coke was getting widely panned. And The Terminator, a blockbuster of epic proportions, was finishing up a legendary run in the movie theaters.
On the latter note, one muggy, hazy evening, a group of high school buddies and I were bored and restless. It was a Tuesday night, and we had already seen The Terminator, but one more time couldn’t hurt, right? We may, or may not have gone to Maggie’s ahead of time for a few pitchers of beer, and we filed into the KB Studio 1-2-3, excited for Ahnold and some serious action. Hasta La Vista, Baby!
The theater was completely empty as we shuffled into an aisle toward the front of the theater. We were giddy with excitement at the prospect of having our own private screening, and settled back with some popcorn and Twizzlers to enjoy the show. The lights went down and it was pitch dark in the theater. Just then I noticed a massive figure shuffling across the aisle in front of us. When the lights from the big screen illuminated the theater, I was shocked to see Patrick Ewing sitting directly in front of me!
At the time, there was no more famous person in the Washington, DC area than Patrick Ewing. He had led the Georgetown Hoyas to an NCAA Basketball Championship the year before (I told you it was a long time ago!) and nearly led them to a repeat championship a few months earlier, before falling to Villanova. He had also just been selected as the first pick in the NBA Draft by the New York Knicks. It was pretty cool. But what wasn’t cool was the fact that we were in an empty movie theater and the tallest person in our Nation’s Capital was blocking my view like a solar eclipse!
Even at that young age, a million negative thoughts rolled through my head. Why did this always happen to me? What could I possibly do about it? I felt powerless to change my situation. I contemplated standing on my seat or craning my neck for two hours. Or moving to the other side of the theater. He was an intimidating figure, and I pictured him swatting me into the back row if I bothered him. But before the opening credits rolled, I gathered the courage to tap him on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, Patrick, it’s a little tough to see the screen.”
He whipped around in dismay. Uh oh! But as soon as he realized the situation, he broke into a huge smile.
“Oh my. I’m SO sorry! I didn’t even see you there.”
He could not have been nicer. And he immediately moved to the other side of the theater and apologized once again. Crisis averted!
It was a good reminder that we need to speak up and advocate for ourselves. And that situations always seem scarier if we don’t confront them. And couldn’t we all benefit from those lessons in our everyday lives?
We Can’t Just Float With the Tide
We all have experienced moments when we were intimidated to act and follow our gut. Perhaps we want to shift our company into a new market but there is already a dominant competitor in the space. Perhaps our company wants us to focus our team on one strategy but we see opportunity in an opposite approach. Perhaps we feel powerless to raise our hands in a meeting and truly express our feelings and our passion. We have all been there. And it is easy to sit back, avoid strife, and float with the tide. But each time we stifle our inner voice we make it harder to initiate change in the future.
The reality is, most of the time, people appreciate hearing from us if we disagree or are uncomfortable. If someone has a blind spot, they will never know unless we point it out. If there is a more profitable path for a company, money talks and it will get the attention it deserves. Feedback is a gift, and it is not something that should be withheld. Confrontation does not have to be scary. Healthy friction makes everyone better. Oftentimes, it is a path to a brighter way and long-term resilience.
Action Begets Action
But what happens if we speak up and experience blowback? Our thoughts are not well received and the other side is offended and agitated. The person swats the popcorn out of our hands! That is okay! Not everything will go smoothly in life and certain things are out of our control. Even if the consequences are unfavorable in the moment, at least, we have aired our inner thoughts and made a stand! At least we have conquered the fear of expressing ourselves and let the world hear our voice. And that will make it so much easier to advocate for ourselves the next time. Action begets action.
The longer we avoid those monsters in the closet, the louder and scarier they become. The reality is that Patrick Ewing was grateful that I spoke up. He would not have wanted me to suffer through the movie. He would not have wanted me to be unnecessarily inconvenienced. If we have something to say, we have to express it with confidence.
Think about that the next time Patrick Ewing sits in front of you in a movie theater.