Pat Kilner grew up the oldest of nine children in a tight-knit family in Wheaton, MD. His father owned a construction company and the children inherited his strong work ethic and dedication. That provided the solid foundation for Pat to humbly deal with both the success and the heartbreak in his life.

Pat’s journey from The Heights School in suburban Maryland to entrepreneurship to teaching to the real estate business has been marked by sweat, grit and good fortune. But it has also been marked by unspeakable tragedy.

It is in this tragedy that Pat has carved out a new perspective and new definition of the success of his business and his family. It all comes down to this:

“How many people can I positively impact from now until the grave?”

Education Through Toil

As a young boy, Pat Kilner would pile into his father’s pickup truck and help him with all types of odd jobs around the build site.

“I swept the floors, picked up the trash and hit my fingers with the hammer more times than I can count. It was humbling but it built character. I learned at an early the importance of finishing the job!”

Those days with his father forged a bond that would last for a lifetime. And Pat realized the significance of including family as part of the business.

Pat continued to work all through his high school days and, upon graduation, he decided to stay local for college and commute to The Catholic University of America.

As he saved money, he also started up his own painting company. He bought a truck, hired a few buddies, and applied his strong work ethic to his new business.

Pat realized that his actions had consequences. If he stayed out late, he still had to get up early and paint. His responsibilities didn’t go away.

“I learned a lot during that time. But while I was getting a great education in school, I also learned the incredible value of education through toil!”

Like most of us, after graduating from college, Pat was trying to figure out what to do with his life. He went back to teach at The Heights School. While it was extremely gratifying, Pat knew it was not long-term. Eventually, he sought out his friend and mentor, Rory Coakley, who was firmly established in the residential real estate market.

It was Rory who gave Pat his first job in the business. It suited his work ethic. It suited his personality. Pat was well on his way to success.

But Pat’s ability to positively impact others was only just beginning.

Life is Fragile

Pat Kilner’s real estate career started to take off. At the same time, his family started to take off. He settled down with his new wife, Elena, and the children kept on coming. Joe, Liam, Madie, Eileen, Benjamin, John Paul. With so many mouths to feed, Pat was more focused than ever on his business.

Eventually, he broke off on his own and started The Kilner Group. Clients appreciated his sincere, consultative approach. He added reliable people to the team but still maintained a hand in every transaction. He was busier than ever, more successful than ever, and never happier.

But then tragedy struck. His youngest son, John Paul, was diagnosed with infantile spinal muscular atrophy, a rare, often terminal, neuromuscular disease. Pat spent days at a time in the hospital room with John Paul and Elena. At the same time, he had to balance the care of his other children with the demands of running his own business.

The outpouring of empathy and support from his extended family and the community was overwhelming. Pat and Elena marveled at the incredible impact John Paul was having on his corner of the world. Everyone rallied around him and showered the family with love. John Paul generated more positivity and joy than the Kilners could ever imagine.

But the Kilners became acutely aware of how fragile life can be.

After months of struggle, John Paul finally succumbed to the disease, leaving a huge hole in the hearts of The Kilner Family.

A New Perspective

“The days and months that followed were painful. But we also realized how much joy John Paul had brought to the world. And, as time passed, we started to view the adversity we had endured as a gift”.

Now that is perspective.

Elena wrote a touching book titled “Letters to John Paul”, which captured the tragic beauty of their family struggle. It helped heal their broken hearts.

And in addition to healing the family, Pat also realized he needed to heal his business. He had spent a lot of time away from the office. Thankfully, he had hired great people, but since he was involved in every deal, there was a natural churn in the client base.

“That is when I realized I didn’t have a business, I had a practice. I suddenly understood how important it was to be able to coach from afar. I didn’t need to be at the center of every transaction.”

This simple but powerful realization changed Pat’s perspective on business and life.

Perhaps he could impact more lives by empowering other people with the freedom and dignity to improve their lives and grow the business?

A New Beginning:
Family and Business

Pat and Elena did not think they were going to have any more children. But after several failed pregnancies and a lot of faith and perseverance, they finally had success! Their daughter Annalise was born on February 20, exactly 4 years to the date of John Paul’s passing. Now that is fate!

It was a joy to see the siblings playing and caring for Annalese. Pat and Elena had endured so much heartache and turmoil. She was a healing miracle in their lives.

And on December 6, 2016, on John Paul’s birthday, Pat Kilner launched a new business, TowerHill Realty. It was a tribute to John Paul and and the manifestation of his fresh perspective.

TowerHill is a real estate company. But Pat Kilner views it as so much more. He views it as an opportunity to impact lives, much the same way John Paul had impacted thousands during his brief life.

His new beginning also allowed Pat to focus on leading others.

“I now view myself as the biggest impediment to growth. I want to hire people more talented than me and make them ever better. If you give enough talented people freedom and opportunity, there is no such thing as a business that is too big.”

Pat has also started a podcast, with his brother Mike, to create a vehicle for how they think about the business. He sees this as another opportunity to be a leader of souls and positively influence his corner of the world. It’s all about family and business coming together.

“My dad always taught me to never coast. Always keep growing. Always keep learning.”

And, in the ultimate circle of life, Pat hired his father to join him at Towerhill Realty. They are no longer riding around in the pickup truck. But they are working together and still finishing the job.

Pat sees TowerHill as a vehicle for his own family to learn and grow. Just as he spent many days and nights working his dad, he wants the same for his children. He wants to enjoy working in the trenches with them and making everyone better.

And it looks like Pat will have another opportunity to grow the business and the family. He and Elena are expecting their seventh child in just a few months.

The circle of life, indeed.

What Does It Mean For Us

Through tragedy, Pat Kilner gained a whole new perspective on life. A whole new perspective on family. And a whole new perspective on business.

And what can his journey teach the rest of us? It’s all about resilience!

How many of us view adversity as a gift?

How many of us have the fortitude and faith to bounce back from our tragedies?

How many of us settle into a comfortable routine and coast?

How many of us see the joy in hard work?

How many of us strive to hire people better than ourselves?

How many of us measure success by the number of people we can impact in a lifetime?

Pat Kilner is always charging, never coasting, and constantly looking for new ways to grow his family and his business. It’s all about making a positive impact.

And he is just getting started.