Our family snuck down to Bethany Beach, Delaware for a few days last week to enjoy some time with friends and family. There is nothing quite like the ocean and the salt air to recharge our batteries and restore our capacity for resilience!
But the most restorative moments of the weekend came far away from the surf and the sand. There is a “beach” bar (“Bethany Boathouse”) located near a Holiday Inn Express in the parking lot of a CVS . A man-made drainage ditch provides a “water view” and it sits just off the highway within earshot of traffic. Yet miraculously, once inside, it feels like paradise.
They have live music and free-flowing island drinks to go with a constantly-swirling, gentle breeze. More importantly, there are good friends and family to take your mind off the neon signs and asphalt. There is no logical reason why this concept should work. But it does. The atmosphere and inspiration comes from the inside.
And that it is a good reminder for all of us. The best things in life come from the inside. Love. Motivation. Inspiration. Resilience. It doesn’t matter what is happening in the chaos all around us. We need to find our happy place. We need to find our inner Boathouse!
It’s Not About the Outside
In our work lives, we are all grinding. Answering proposals and cold-calling under intense pressure. Preparing for client presentations in dark conference rooms. Tweaking our business plans while holed up in the office. Teaching in hot classrooms. Coaching in the rain and the humidity. It can be overwhelming at times.
It takes hard work and enormous sacrifice. On the outside, it can seem hopeless at times. But we can’t just go through the motions. Every now and then we have to step back and recognize why we are grinding in the first place. Providing security for our family. Making the world a better place. Positively influencing the next generation. This is our live music and great friends. This will sustain us in difficult times. This is our inner motivation and our purpose.
It’s All About Perspective
And the same is true in our personal lives. It’s not always easy on the outside. Our children can frustrate us at times. Our spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend may not appreciate our point of view. Our friends may not seem to care about our situation. Our family can generate friction and stress over the smallest matters. Sometimes, it feels as though we are battling against an aggressive riptide.
We need to relax. Our children will make mistakes but think about all the joy they given us over the years. Our significant others will disagree with us, but we will eventually find a compromise. Our friends have lives of their own, but they will always be there for us when it matters. Our family is our family. Frustrating at times, but there is no substitute! We can’t let the neon glow from the CVS sign distract us. Our lives are far more beautiful when we step back with some level of perspective. We need to focus on our inner Boathouse!
The Magic Happens on the Inside
But there are times when the asphalt and neon from the parking lot ruins our view. And the beach feels miles away. We all reach a breaking point. Lack of appreciation at our job. Lack of respect on the homefront. Financial pressure. Health issues and illness. Major relationship woes. At times, it feels as though it will never work. How do we get back to those frozen drinks and Tom Petty cover tunes?
We can’t ignore it and pretend it isn’t happening. We can’t stuff it all inside. We all have to deal with the realities of our everyday lives. Life is not always a beach.
But resilience is not about escape or fantasy. It’s not about trite sayings and slogans. Resilience is all about perspective. Even in our darkest moments, we can’t curl into a ball and give up. We can’t succumb to the trials and tribulations of our everyday lives. There is always a sliver of hope. And that hope is different for everyone. If we don’t see it right away, we have to keep looking!
We can find our purpose, hope, and happiness anywhere. It doesn’t have to be on a fancy trip or at an expensive dinner. It doesn’t have to look beautiful and perfect on the outside. It doesn’t matter what the world sees. We need to find it for ourselves. The best things in life are on the inside.
And sometimes we can find paradise in a CVS parking lot.