There are certain moments in our lives we never forget. Perhaps a particular play from a game in our youth. Perhaps an early memory of a parent that still warms our heart. Perhaps a special moment on vacation, or a personal connection that made a difference. The memories don’t have to be life-changing or even significant. But for some reason, they stay emblazoned in living color on our brains.
One such memory occurred at our wedding (20 some-odd years ago, or so!). It was a glorious affair, full of family and great friends. What an incredible opportunity to have everyone we cared about gathered in one spot for a celebration!
Naturally, we were busy going from table to table, shaking hands, checking in, and making sure everyone was having a good time. And along the way, we had the cake cutting, the toast (great job, Steve!) and all the other ceremonies that go along with whirlwind day.
About half way through the reception, our caterer came up to us and insisted that we eat. We were both caught in an impromptu receiving line and didn’t have time to break away.
“Don’t make me drag you away”, the caterer insisted, only half kidding.
Above our mild protests, the caterer grabbed both of us by the arm and marched us out of the reception hall. Just beyond the door was a table set for two with a huge plate of pasta. Neither one of us thought we were hungry. But after the first forkful, both of our plates were cleaned in seconds! We were both starving. But we were so caught up in adrenaline, excitement and chaos to recognize how badly we needed nourishment!
And I think a lot of us fall in to that same trap in our work and personal lives.
We Have to Ask Bigger Questions
In our work lives, we can get consumed by the minutiae of our everyday responsibilities. There are people to manage, goals to hit, problems to solve, and projects to deliver. And the technology and competition are moving faster than we ever thought possible. We can go entire weeks laboring to scratch items off our to-do list in a futile effort to stay ahead.
But how many times do we step back and ask bigger questions? What are my high-level goals? What are my priorities? How am I taking care of myself so I can achieve success? There is a difference between being busy and being productive. Sometimes, we need to step back from the chaos of the day-to-day and assess where we are in our careers. We need to step off the wheel give ourselves the proper nourishment of perspective and appreciation. Only when we take a break do we realize how much we need it!
Nourishment Starts From Within
And the same is true in our personal lives. It is very easy to get caught up in myriad social functions and obligations of our lives. We have commitments, outings and activities that fill in any remaining “free” time. Our lives can toggle between the blurred lines of family, friends, and co-workers.
For the most part, this is healthy and it certainly beats loneliness and isolation. But how many times do we step back and assess our actions? Are all of our activities necessary and productive? Are all of our relationships healthy and affirming? Have we taken any time to ensure our needs are met in the process? It is right and responsible to take care of others and bring joy and fulfilment to family and friends. But we have to make sure we take care of ourselves along the way. Nourishment starts from within.
We Need to Feed Ourselves First
Why is this so important? Without this nourishment and perspective, it is MUCH more difficult to stay resilient when the walls start to crumble. In times of strife and uncertainty, we need to stay focused. We need to be strong. We need all of our energy centered on getting back to our best selves. If we get caught up in the adrenaline and chaos of our everyday lives, we will find ourselves hungry and weak when we need it most. We need to feed ourselves before we get to that point.
And we need people to help us realize the depth of our hunger. Who are the “caterers” in your life? Who provides perspective and helps you recognize the need for encouragement and nourishment? Cherish these people. Let them help you. Do not shut them out. They may seem pushy or intrusive at times. But sometimes we need other people to help us see what we can’t see ourselves.
And don’t forget to check on yourself. We all need to take some time away from the madness. It is okay to give yourself a break. That perspective and nourishment will ultimately feed your resilience.
Very nice Robert !
Great story and SO true. Thanks for sharing and reminding us all.