If we read enough motivational material (guilty!), it seems as if every setback in life leads to some deep revelation. We all know the mantras that perpetuate this theme:
There is no progress without pain.
Every setback brings you one step closer to your dream.
Every obstacle is an opportunity to grow.
These sayings are undoubtedly grounded in truth and the basis for building a life of resiliency. In fact, many of our greatest accomplishments are rooted in failure.
We get cut from a sports team and it opens the door to a new opportunity even better than the first!
We lose a big sale but stay focused and still crush our number.
Our initial business fails but we learn from our mistakes and build a new, thriving company.
We experience financial difficulty but persevere with purpose to pull ourselves out of despair.
We get our hearts broken but stay positive and find our true soulmate.
We overcome our struggles in school and go on to write the great American novel.
It is the ability to power through these difficult moments and keep moving forward that allows us to achieve ultimate success and happiness. These are the golden moments of resilience!
Resiliency Does Not Guarantee Success
But there are resilient people who never achieve success. Staying positive and powering through a setback does not always lead to redemption. There is no guarantee that our resilience will lead to future prosperity. Sometimes, a negative remains a negative.
When an athlete blows out his or her knee, it is not always a “blessing in disguise”.
When an employee gets fired, it is not always a “gateway” to their true calling in life.
When an entrepreneur goes bankrupt, it does not always lead to “the next big thing”.
Every “no” does not always bring us one step closer to a “yes”.
There are times when one door closes, and another one does not open.
Not every setback provides a “teachable moment”. Not every painful failure has an upside. Sometimes, we just hit the bottom and have to deal with it.
Sustained Resiliency Is a Valiant Struggle
What do we do when resiliency does not change our fortune? What do we do when we take action but nothing improves? What do we do when the punches keep coming and everything feels unfair?
We have to saddle up.
There are no guarantees of success in life. If there were, then resiliency would be easy! If we knew that success was always on the other side of effort, then we would push ourselves all the time.
But it isn’t, and we don’t. And that is what makes sustained resiliency the most difficult yet most valuable virtue of all!
Resiliency is not a one-time thing. We can’t be resilient a few times and then throw in the towel. We can’t stay positive initially and then ultimately succumb to negativity after repeated failures. We have to keep fighting in the face of possible defeat. We have to be ALL IN on resiliency!
We don’t know how the story is going to end. And that is what makes it so hard!
Why bother to fight if we are ultimately going to fail? Why go through the pain of trying if giving up leads to the same outcome? Isn’t is easier to stop struggling and accept our mediocre fate?
Of course!
But we have to realize that giving up guarantees failure. Accepting mediocrity leads to a life below mediocrity. Settling for something less than our potential is admitting defeat.
Don’t we at least deserve a shot at success and happiness?
When it Comes to Resiliency, We Must Choose Wisely
Sustained resilience is a choice. And it is not an easy one. It requires grit, hard work, perseverance, optimism, and, sometimes, blind faith. Our journey is often littered with heartbreak and setbacks. But even if we experience defeat while giving everything we have, isn’t that some kind of victory?
The very act of exhibiting effort fuels our passion. Spirited participation, regardless of outcome, is exhilarating. It is still so much fun to play the game even if we ultimately fail!
Sustained resilience does not have a down side!
Not every setback provides a “teachable moment”. But staying resilient in the face of adversity and turmoil teaches us how to feel alive!
Until next week, keep smiling!