There are chance meetings with strangers that interest us from the first moment, before a word is ever spoken. –Fyodor Dostoevsky
He was jarringly out of place. An octogenarian man with a walker, shuffling up to the register at the local Baskin-Robbins on a cold, rainy Tuesday night. He had a huge smile on his face and a booming voice. Without hesitation, he ordered a chocolate ice cream and two double-scoop ice cream cones. He somehow balanced all three on his forearm and slowly made his way over to join his wife at the table. They laughed like two little kids on the playground.
I was there picking a little treat for my girls (and a little somethin’-somethin’ for myself). Normally, I would go about my business, order my ice cream, and head on home. But there was a magnetic aura surrounding this couple. I had to introduce myself before I walked out the door.
“I hate to interrupt, but I couldn’t help notice how happy you two look together.”
They both looked up from their massive ice cream cones and smiled. The older man spoke first.
“I can tell you are a communicator. And I bet you are a writer!”
Huh?
Then his wife chimed in.
“We have written four books together on communication and development. We know what we’re talking about.”
Time to pull up a seat. I don’t care if the ice cream melts.
They introduced themselves as Joe and Judy Pauley.
Judy earned her PhD. in international management communications and had more than 50 years of management and leadership experience as a science department chair and as president of several educational and scientific organizations. In addition to being the co-author of four nationally published books, she also served as an Adjunct Professor in the graduate education departments of 7 universities, from New Hampshire to California. Slightly smart!
Joe Pauley was no slouch himself. He was a decorated veteran who served in a variety of leadership positions in the Navy during the Korean War. After his naval service, Joe had a very successful 34-year leadership career with the U.S. Government. He and Judy lived in Asia for 21 of those years, where Joe became an authority on managing, communicating with, and motivating people from other cultures. He also served as an adjunct professor at the same universities as Judy. Incredible!
So how have they remained so happy?
Joe didn’t hesitate.
“We always stayed curious. We always kept learning. And we always treated ourselves when things got tense. Life is too short. We have to make a little room in our lives for ice cream!”
Amen, Joe.
And what brought them up here tonight?
Judy jumped in.
“Our daughter LOVES chocolate ice cream. She is forty-two years old with Down Syndrome and lives with us at home.”
They both went on to tell story after story about how proud they were of their daughter. They praised local programs such as ArtStream, which helps people with intellectual and developmental disabilities gain confidence through collaborative performance. They praised the people who made a difference in her life. They were full of gratitude.
I sat in stunned silence, soaking it all in. Judy eventually broke the silence.
“Well, we better get home before it all melts.”
My ice cream was already soup, but I didn’t care.
I shook their hands and walked out the door. It was only a 10-minute conversation. But I couldn’t get it out of my head.
There are interesting and inspiring stories all around us. We just have to listen.
How many of us stay curious and yearn to keep learning throughout life?
How many of us recognize it is okay to step back and treat ourselves, even when things get tense?
How many of us are full of gratitude despite our setbacks and challenges?
How many us will still laugh like school kids with our spouse after a long journey?
How many of us order a double-scoop of ice cream on a cold, rainy night in February?
Joe and Judy Paulie are a pair of geniuses who achieved incredible success and stayed resilient throughout their journey. God bless them.
Our lives will not always be easy. We will face challenges and obstacles that will knock us back on our heels. Little will be in our control. But we will have the ability to control our attitude and perspective. And, no matter how bad things may seem, we should always have the ability to express gratitude. That will keep us resilient.
Life is too short. Every now and then, we have to make a little room in our lives for ice cream!
awesome one this week, Rob
Excellent. And love the MC handle.
Loved this Rob – for several reasons! First of all, I myself was in Baskin Robbins on a cold rainy Tuesday night -the night before Ash Wednesday – celebrating Fat Tuesday! To think you would have never learned their great story if you had not reached out into someone else’s space – we often hesitate to do that in life don’t we? And as a result we miss so much opportunity – either hearing a great love story or perhaps lending some words of encouragement and love. And I love their comment about gratitude – exactly why they were laughing together many years later just sharing an ice cream cone.
Thanks for sharing so much positivity!
Fat Tuesday, indeed! It’s funny, I was definitely hesitant to speak with them. I think this is our default mode. But so worth it (in this case) to overcome that initial uncomfortable moment of reaching out to a stranger. It’s all about gratitude!
All I can say is thanks for reaching out.
It was my pleasure, Coach. Happy to share!
So many good lessons. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Missy! This was a fun one to write. Good people.
Rob, I was just catching up on a couple of your articles I missed. What makes this piece about Joe and Judy Pauley so special is that Judy taught at Holy Child for about 25 years! She even came back to our Alumnae Weekend last spring to catch up with our many alumnae she taught over the years! What a wonderful coincidence that you, as a Holy Child dad, met them!
Suzi, that is remarkable! I had no idea there was a connection. Now I’m even happier I stopped to speak with them.