Bill_Murray

One of the most captivating images of the March Madness hoops tournament (so far!) was the crowd shot of Bill Murray seconds after Wisconsin stunned Xavier on a last second shot.  His despondent expression and sheer disbelief perfectly captured the sentiment of any fan who has ever had their heart broken in the final seconds of a game.  While his devastation was justified (Murray’ son is an assistant coach for Xavier), I could not help but think about the classic line from Stripes (another Bill Murray film):  “Lighten up, Francis”!

While we all have major responsibilities, financial pressure and general hardships, we can’t always take life so seriously.  In business, we get spun up worrying about the things that simply do not matter.  Why is his office larger than mine?  Why does the new person get all the “good” sales leads?  Why don’t I have my own parking spot?  Worse yet, we run around the office like a caffeinated George Costanza, never once making eye contact or stopping to check in with our team.  If we appear busy and frustrated, it must mean we are working hard!   Instead of focusing on our clients, students, or teammates, we worry about how we measure up to some arbitrary standard of status.  In our personal lives, we can obsess about the size of our house or the model of our car.  If we fall short of our perceived largesse, it can significantly impact our self-worth.  As parents, we can obsess about the extra-curricular activities of our children.  But at some point, they need the space to fail or succeed on their own.  The reality is that not everyone will be in the corner office.  Not everyone will live in a beautiful estate.  Not everyone’s son or daughter will get a scholarship to college.  Don’t get me wrong, achieving all of those things would be great!  But, when we take ourselves too seriously, it becomes easy to allow those things to define our life. Instead, take some time to enjoy the little moments in your life.   It’s okay to smile in the office and stop by the water cooler to tell a story.  No one will think you are a slacker!  You don’t need to have the biggest house on the block or the fanciest car in the garage.  Be thankful for the ones you have and take some time to appreciate them.  Your son or daughter doesn’t need to be the star on the field or dominate the playing time.  Just enjoy watching them compete and appreciate the sheer joy it brings to their lives.  I know it’s not easy.  But obsessing over arbitrary goals is not a key to achieving happiness.   Keeping up with the Joneses will never end in satisfaction.  Constantly driving forward without appreciating your loved ones is not a recipe for success.  Take some time to laugh and enjoy the moment.  Lighten up, Francis!

But how can you laugh when things are not working out in your favor?  In fact, it is during those down times that you need to lighten up the most!  At some point, you are going to make a mistake.  At some point, you are going to stumble.  In you are going to stay resilient, you need to give yourself a break.  Your problems are not as big a deal as you think.  You are not the only one to doubt your abilities.  You are not the only one to run into financial difficulties.  You are not the only one to feel marginalized in your job or inadequate as a parent.  You are not immune from the tough breaks which impact all of us at some point in our journey.  You need to maintain your effort, enthusiasm and positive attitude during these difficult times.  But you also need to maintain your sense of humor and perspective.  If you hold up a perfect image of yourself, it is bound to crack.   Why take everything so seriously?   Focus on your family relationships and your friends.  Take some time to soak in the sunshine.  Find a hobby that takes your mind off your problems.  Take a deep breath and smile.

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?–Mary Oliver

We only have one shot at this life.  Make it wild and memorable.  We are put on this earth to embrace life, not just exist.  If you aren’t having some fun along the way, what is the point?    Play a practical joke in the office!  Crank some tunes on the golf course!  Hold class outside!  Compete in sports with reckless abandon and watch for the pure enjoyment!  I know we all have real responsibilities and it is important to work hard toward our goals.  But nobody looks back on their life and regrets laughing too much.  You can achieve greatness without taking life so seriously.  Lighten up, Francis.  Everything is going to be okay.

Until next week, keep smiling.