Legendary basketball coach Lefty Driesell is quick to share a story.  About old basketball recruits.  About old players.  About old teammates.  About his family.  About life.   Each one is more captivating than the next.  But in a recent conversation, it was my turn to share a story with the coach.

Hall of Fame basketball player Adrian Dantley (long retired) is refereeing my 5th-grade daughter’s basketball games this year.  Last week, she was playing a team of smaller girls.   And the very smallest girl on the other team was fouled while shooting.  Normally, girls her size move up past the free-throw line to have a fighting chance.  But not this time.  Adrian made sure she stayed all the way behind the line.

The girl wasn’t sure what to do.  But she gathered herself,  closed her eyes, wound up like a discus thrower, and heaved the ball toward the rim.  Prayer answered.  Swish!

The crowd went into a frenzy.  But suddenly Adrian’s whistle echoed across the gym.  Foot violation. No basket.  

Upon hearing the story, Coach Driesell laughed so hard, he couldn’t catch his breath.

“Oh my.  That’s Adrian.  A stickler for the rules.  He is the most stand up guy I have ever met.  A rule is a rule!”

Then he went into a long story about the failed recruiting process of Adrian Dantley.  Halfway through the narrative, Coach Driesell paused.

“You wanna know the most amazing thing about Adrian?”

Sure, Coach.

“When he got an offensive rebound, he told me his primary goal was NOT to try and make a basket. His primary goal was to get fouled!”

Why?

“He was the best free-throw shooter in the nation.  If he looked to make the basket first, he might miss or get his shot blocked.  But if he got fouled, it was an automatic two points.  That was a man who knew his strengths!”

And sure enough, Adrian Dantley rode his strengths, leading the league in free throw percentage 6 times and tying the NBA record (along with Wilt Chamberlain) for the most free-throws in a single game (28).

Recognizing and maximizing his strengths made Adrian Dantley a Hall of Famer.  And the same is true for all of us in our personal and professional lives.

Success is a Product of Our Unique Talent

In our work lives, we often emulate those who are more successful and tenured in their position.  That is okay.  Sometimes, that is the fastest way to learn the business. But if we want to achieve true mastery in our profession, we can’t follow someone else’s blueprint forever.  Eventually, we have to recognize our own unique strengths.  And then we have to put ourselves in a position to maximize those strengths.

In sales, there is more than one way to win over clients.  We may think we have to be the most aggressive.  We may think we have to be the most knowledgeable.  But maybe we are introverted.  Maybe we lack sophistication.  Why not rely on our sincerity?  Why not rely on our honesty?  We have all been given incredible gifts.  It’s just a matter of finding the confidence to maximize those talents.

And that applies to any profession.    Not all entrepreneurs approach the competition the same way.  Not all teachers influence their students with the same techniques.  Not all coaches reach their players with the same style.  Not all workers complete their tasks with the same regimen.  We are all unique.  We all have certain strengths.  We have to find the techniques and habits that work best for us.  There is no preset formula for success.  Success is not a template.  Success is personal.

We All Deserve Happiness

And the same principles apply to our personal lives.  We all have our preconceived notions of the “perfect” parent. Or the “perfect” spouse.  Or the “perfect” friend.  We try to imitate characters in movies or find some other unrealistic model of success. But that is seldom the path to personal fulfillment.  Too often, comparison and imitation lead to a feeling of inadequacy and failure.  How can we possibly live up to this mythical ideal?

The reality is that everyone struggles as a parent.  Every spouse has come up short in some aspect of their relationship.  Every friend has let someone down.  But we can’t beat ourselves up for not being perfect.  We need to focus on our strengths.  There is a reason our parents love us.  There is a reason our children look up to us for guidance.  There is a reason our spouse chose to share his or her life with us.  There is a reason our friends count on us.  We are all worthy of love and respect.  We all have unique and incredible talents.  We just need to recognize them and maximize them for personal fulfillment.

Find Your Free Throw Mindset

Adrian Dantley was a talented basketball player.  He didn’t do everything well, but he recognized that he was the best free-throw shooter in the league.  And he built his game and mindset around that strength.

And so it is with all of us.  What is our “free-throw” mindset?  What do we do well?  What is our unique contribution?  What do we need to focus on for success?  What gives us the most joy and satisfaction?  Take some time to think about it this week.  Write it down.  The more we can focus on our strengths, the more personal and professional success we can achieve.  And the more resilient we will become.  It’s all about making our little corner of the world just a little bit better.

Thanks, Lefty.  And keep those stories coming.