Authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world. –Adam Grant
In the Spring of 2009, my boss left our company and moved to an executive position with a new advertising technology startup. They had just fired their head of sales, and my old boss was in charge of bringing in a new leader. The current salespeople were on edge about the new hire, and having trouble focusing and executing on their business. Instead of shying away from that stressful feeling, my old boss decided to embrace it! He “hired” me to fly out to Chicago to pretend to be the new manager. I didn’t get a lot of instruction, other than to put on my best acting shoes and make everyone feel uncomfortable. The more outrageous, the better. He picked the right guy for the job!
The entire sales team was anxiously assembled in the conference room when my “new” boss announced that my plane was running late. Just then I stormed through the door and jostled my way up to the front of the room. I slammed my fist on the table and the echo thundered across Michigan Avenue. It was time to go Glengarry Glen Ross on this team!
“My name is Jim Crenshaw. This is my first day on the job. And for many of you, it will be your last!”
The room stared in stunned silence. After what must have seemed an eternity, I continued.
“I’ve had a chance to review the books. And you know what? It’s worse than I thought. But then again, weak numbers come from weak people!”
I had their full attention and wasn’t about to stop. I zeroed in on a sharp-dressed, bespectacled sales guy in the front row.
“Hey, Clark Kent! Who is your top client?”
He just sat there stammering. The poor guy needed Depends.
“Uh. What. You talking to me?”
“No, I’m talking to the jack leg behind you. Yeah, you!”
“I guess American Airlines?”
“Wrong answer! American Airlines is my client!”
I then shifted my glare to a goateed, spindly sales guy in the back of the room.
“And what about you, Shaggy? Any idea who your top client is?”
“Proctor & Gamble, I think.”
“You just gambled and lost! Proctor & Gamble is MY client!”
The veins were popping out of my neck as I coldly surveyed the room.
“As of today, there is a new sheriff in town. You can kiss your clients goodbye. I’m taking them all!”
You could hear a pin drop as I stood up ON the conference table. I was just getting warmed up!
But before I could launch into my next tirade, my old boss burst out into laughter that filled the room. All eyes turned to him. He confessed that I was an old friend playing a prank. He promised he would never hire someone without their input and that he would always respect them and have their backs. It was an unconventional tactic but somehow it worked! The ultimate icebreaker!
But a funny thing happened at the Happy Hour that followed. The sales team was terrified to approach me and still viewed me as a giant jerk. I was merely acting, trying to be something completely different from my own personality, but that false persona was burned in their brains forever. They would never accept the genuine me. And that is the danger of acting without authenticity in our work and personal lives.
As Long As We Are Genuine, We Will Never Be Alone
In our work lives, we all want to appear confident and it can be very unsettling to be in over our heads. But we have to remain true to ourselves and to our team. Actors don’t run effective organizations. Leading with authenticity means we have to express what we are genuinely feeling on the inside. It is okay to admit we don’t have all the answers. It is okay to show vulnerability and ask questions. If we “fake it until we make it”, we will be tempted to fake it for the rest of our lives. And that is not a recipe for success. We can still effectively lead and inspire while acknowledging that we still have a lot to learn.
In our personal lives, we can’t always be typecast into roles we think others expect of us. We have to do the best we can and honor our true feelings. We are allowed to have bad days. We are allowed to stumble and let others down. We won’t always be the dutiful son. We won’t always be the supportive daughter. We won’t always have an infinite capacity to parent. If we constantly cover up our shortcomings and mistakes, how will we ever learn from them? Pretending we have it all figured out is the quickest way to therapy.
If we want to stay resilient, we have to admit we need help and seek out advice and counsel from those closest to us. As long as we are true to ourselves and honest about our mistakes, we will never be alone. Sure, it’s fun to impersonate someone else, but we are not actors in a play. We are just ordinary, genuine people trying to do the best we can.