Kevin Dyer learned early on that life is not about what happens to you.  But about how you respond.  And that lesson has made all the difference.

Kevin Dyer grew up in Kensington, Maryland, in a loving household with his parents and four sisters.   As a child, he was athletic, personable, and relentlessly positive.  Some things never change.

In fifth grade, Kevin made the move to Mater Dei School, an idyllic all-boys Catholic School outside Washington, DC.  It was the perfect fit.  He loved the tradition.  He loved his teachers.   And he loved his classmates.

It was here that Kevin developed a passion for basketball.  And here he learned some of his biggest life lessons.

During one particular basketball game in eighth grade, Kevin was fouled hard on the way to the basket.  The referee missed the call.

“I wasn’t happy.  I stomped my feet and pouted and let the whole gym know how I felt.”

His coach, Kevin Giblin, was not pleased.  Coach Giblin immediately called a full timeout and let Kevin know exactly how he felt.

“It was the longest timeout of my life.”

The next day, Coach Giblin took Kevin aside after class and reinforced his point.

“He told me that things might not always go the way I want in life.  But it’s how I respond that matters.  I never forgot that.”   

Kevin didn’t know at the time how important that lesson would be.

But he recognized the transformative power of the school while he was still in eighth grade.

“I remember saying that I wanted to come back to Mater Dei to teach some day.”

The circle of life!

Blossoming at Georgetown Prep

Kevin Dyer grew up going to Georgetown Prep High School football and basketball games.  His dad had attended Georgetown Prep,  so when it came time to make the decision, the choice was easy.

“I used to play on the fields after the games and I lived for Homecoming.  So many great memories.  I couldn’t wait to finally get my shot.”

Once at Georgetown Prep, Kevin took full advantage.  And his love for basketball blossomed. His Freshmen year, Kevin was inspired by the size and talent of the senior class, especially 7’2 Roy Hibbert and 6’10 Davis Nwanko.

“Every week, there was a different big-time Division I coach on campus.  Georgetown.  Villanova.  Arizona. That is when my dream to play college basketball came to life!”

As a 5’6 Freshman, playing college hoops seemed like an impossibility.  But Kevin Dyer thrives on the impossible.

He passionately worked on his game.  He studied his opponents and became another coach on the court.  By Junior year, Kevin had cracked the starting lineup at point guard.  And at the beginning of his senior year, Coach Dwayne Bryant had assembled  another talented team.

“I just loved being part of a team.  And I loved the practices.  Even the bad practices, because I knew we were going to get better.”

With that type of attitude and leadership, Kevin Dyer was named a captain.  And the personal and team accolades followed.  Georgetown Prep won a league title and Kevin was recruited by Dickinson, Gettysburg and Washington & Lee.  It was nice to have options.

“My dad went to W&L but that wasn’t as much of  a factor.  I just bonded with the guys on the team and fit in right away.  It was a no-brainer for me.”

And so it happened.  Kevin Dyer headed down to W&L to be a college basketball player.  One “impossible” dream in the books.

A Shifting Dream at Washington & Lee

Kevin’s college basketball career started out strong.  He played in 19 games as a Freshman and catapulted to even more success in his sophomore campaign.  He impressed Chris McHugh, the energetic captain of the team, who always supported Kevin and believed in his game.   But at the end of the season, Kevin sat down with his head coach to evaluate his performance.

“Coach looked me in the eye and said ‘McHugh thinks you have a future here on this team, but I just don’t see it.'”

Gut punch. Kevin had a week to think about it, but  ultimately decided to hang up his jersey.  And just like that, his college basketball career was over. (And, on an ironic note, Chris McHugh now serves as the Head Basketball Coach of the Washington & Lee Generals…I guess he knew what he was talking about!)

Not one to ever dwell on the negative, Kevin Dyer moved forward with class and dignity and poured everything he had into staying active.  In his junior year, he transformed into a prolific runner and swimmer. He played every intramural sport imaginable.  He soaked in his college experience and made of the most of his new freedom.

That summer, Kevin’s thoughts turned to life after college.  He interned on Capitol Hill for family friend, Geoff Gonella, and absolutely loved the experience.   He didn’t know much about the “real world” but he did believe that lobbying would be a big part of his future.

As Kevin Dyer entered his senior year in college, everything seemed right with the world.

Tragedy Strikes

December 12, 2010.  A day forever circled on the Dyer calendar.  It was a cold, icy night in Lexington, VA.   Kevin left a party and piled into the backseat of a Toyota Highlander with four other people.

“I got in the wrong car that night.”

The SUV took a turn and hit an icy patch of road.  The car rammed into a tree and then sheared off a utility pole.  Miraculously, the driver and front seat passenger were not seriously injured.  But one girl in the backseat was thrown through the windshield.  Another was ejected from the car.  While both were hospitalized,  neither sustained life-threatening injuries.

Kevin was not as fortunate.  He was crushed and immobilized in the backseat.  It took 2 hours to cut him  free from the wreckage.  And when they did, he was immediately rushed to Roanoke Hospital for emergency surgery.

The doctors worked miracles to re-attach his ear and perform spinal cord stabilization surgery to place three rods in his lower back.  It was like one long nightmare sequence.  Kevin was battered and broken.  But he was alive!

He spent five nights recovering in the hospital.  He did not know what his future held.  But every night, his good friend, Chris Hodgson, slept in the chair next to him offering encouragement and support.

“I’ll always be grateful.  Now that is a true friend!”

Kevin needed all the support he could get.  He had to endure a 3-hour ambulance ride to the National Rehabilitation Center outside Washington, DC.  Once there, the doctors spoke to him about his future.  And he handled it with his typical relentless optimism.

“The doctors told me I had a 1% chance of ever walking again.  I think they expected me to be depressed.  But it gave me hope.  It wasn’t ZERO.  That 1% was all I needed to hear.”

Amen, brother!

The first thing Kevin thought about was the lesson he had learned many years earlier.  How will you respond? And then, a few days later, he received  a letter from T. Strachan, a phenomenal high school athlete, who was also paralyzed in an accident from the waist down.

The letter closed with this simple phrase:

“10% of life is what happens to you.  90% is how you respond!”

It was fate!  Kevin vowed his life would not be defined by his accident.  But, rather, his path would be defined by how he responded!

Role Models

Kevin felt the outpouring of love and concern from the community.  There were fundraisers and special events in his honor.   It was comforting.  The family was enormously appreciative.  But it also put him in a unique situation.

“I was twenty-two years old and suddenly I was being viewed as a role model.  That was new for me.  But it made me a better person.”

And Kevin learned how to be a role model from two of the best.

His mom had always had a deep faith and attended daily Mass.  Kevin was religious, but didn’t spend too much time thinking about it.  But now, his entire perspective changed.

“My accident put me in a great situation.  I attended Mass every day with my mom.  We grew closer. And I learned more about my faith than I ever would have.”

And his dad was a steady hand throughout the recovery.

“My dad was always there for me.”

Kevin recalled childhood memories of his dad  always putting on a happy face no matter what was happening around him.

“My dad worked hard and faced a lot of stress.  But he never showed it.  When he came home for dinner, he was always calm and present.”

And that is the same kind of steadfast support Kevin would need to achieve his next dream.

The Return to Mater Dei

Kevin spent months in rehab recovering from the trauma of the accident.  He was still in a wheelchair and working hard every day.  But eventually, he had to focus on his next move.  He was able to graduate on time from Washington & Lee.  And now it was time to face the real world.

Kevin had a job waiting for him with a lobbying firm on Capitol Hill.  But fate would play a role on his next move.  He went back to Mater Dei to watch his cousin play in a basketball game.  He looked around and felt right at home.  Hadn’t he promised to come back and teach back in eighth grade?  It all seemed to make sense.

Kevin applied for a newly opened teaching role at Mater Dei.  Why not?  Many of the teachers who had taught him were still there.  And the tradition was as strong as ever.

In the final interview, President Chris Abell asked Kevin what he majored in at W&L. When he answered “Political Science”, Mr. Abell shot back: “Perfect!  You will be our science teacher!”

“I knew immediately that this was where I wanted to be for the rest of my life!”

And so it happened.  Kevin didn’t have much experience.  But he had character, drive, and determination.

“I’ve always loved public speaking.  So I picked up on the little things that other teachers did and eventually made them my own.”

Isn’t that how we all make it?

And he was able to transfer the faith he encountered through his accident to his students.

“I throw religion into just about everything.  Why not embrace it?”

Today, Kevin teaches 7th grade science, 6th grade religion, and 5th grade language arts at Mater Dei School.  And he coaches basketball.  A lot of basketball. He coaches for Mater Dei.  He coaches a team (“The Apostles”!) with his dad and Chris Hodgson.  And he never stops imparting those life lessons through academics and sports.

It never gets old.

“I cherish every day at Mater Dei.  This is the greatest place in the world. Why would I ever leave?”

Kevin Dyer faced a tragedy of epic proportions.  But through his unwavering faith, his positive attitude and his relentless optimism, he was able to find his true calling in life.

 

“One Day Closer”

It has been over eight years years since Kevin Dyer’s accident.  And he is determined to walk again.

Kevin still works hard on his rehab at The Kennedy Krieger Institute at Johns Hopkins.  He uses a harness on the treadmill.  He swims in the pool.  He has special braces that allow him to walk for short periods.  He is taking small but significant steps toward recovery.  And every year his tests are incrementally better.

“I just need to learn patience.  It’s not an overnight journey.”  

But what keeps him going for the long battle?  How does he keep the faith during the tough days?

“I know I will walk again.  I don’t know when.  I don’t how long it will take.  But every day that goes by, I know I am one day closer to my goal.”

Incredible.  Now that is the essence of resilience!  Keep the faith, my brother!

And what has Kevin learned through this whole process?

“People can say what they want about this community.  It’s not perfect.  But when things go bad, this community will take care of you!  It’s amazing!”

And that’s what it’s all about.  Anyone can be there for us in the good times, but who will support us in the darkest times?  Kevin Dyer has his family, his faith, his friends, and his community.  Life is good!

And what are his goals for teaching and coaching?

“I hope that something I say in the classroom or on the court has an impact on someone’s life ten years from now.”

(I don’t think you have to wait ten years, Kevin.  Your resilient spirit is making an impact today.)

Kevin Dyer faced an incredible challenge in his life.  But instead of crushing his spirit, Kevin’s accident emboldened his faith and set him on  a path to positively influence an entire generation of players and students.

And through all the struggle, all the surgeries and all the tough moments, Kevin Dyer never lost the faith.  He never lost hope.  And through incredible family and community support, he found his true calling in life.

Sometimes, tragedy opens up opportunity.  Sometimes a positive attitude creates miracles.  Sometimes, we reach our maximum potential through adversity.

Life isn’t about what happens to you.  It’s about how your respond.

Kevin Dyer firmly believes he is one day closer to walking again.

I wouldn’t  bet against him.