My wife and I were able to take the trip of a lifetime to visit our daughter over in Barcelona this past winter. The history. The people. The food. The beach! We soaked it all in as our daughter whisked us from iconic place to iconic place. Glorious!
Perhaps the greatest stop on the whirlwind tour was an understated sandwich shop, BO DE B. The line was around the block for these mouthwatering, oversized pita masterpieces, and they knew how to maximize revenue with a captive audience! They opened a boutique shop directly next door and encouraged anyone waiting in line to browse and buy. My wife was drawn into the shoe section like a moth to a flame. Rut-Roh! This 5 Euro pita was about to get a LOT costlier!
After the impromptu shopping spree, we devoured our delicious sandwiches and briskly walked to our next destination. There was only one problem. While my wife’s new shoes were stylish, they were not practical. Immediately large blisters formed on her right foot. And several tour stops later, the pain was unbearable. She paused every few steps, readjusted, and rested. All hope seemed lost as the blisters intensified. Would I have to carry her to our hotel? Fortunately, we never had to find out!
Unbeknownst to us, a woman had witnessed each step of my wife’s arduous journey. And she was prepared.
“I noticed you were suffering.”
We both turned around to see a kind woman holding out two large Band-Aids. Prayers answered!
My wife immediately put them on and we thanked this good Samaritan profusely. She wanted no praise, quickly smiled, and disappeared into the teeming streets of Barcelona. Poof!
Was she an apparition? An angel? Or just an empathetic human being with a big heart. Whatever the case, she first took the time to notice. And then acted with compassion. And couldn’t we all do more of that in our own lives?
We Need To Check In
Our lives have become so hectic and unpredictable, it is very easy (and understandable) to remain self-focused within our own plastic bubble. This is not done with malice or a cold heart, but more out of survival. But if we pause, reflect, and intentionally focus outward, we may notice small amounts of suffering all around us.
Perhaps a new employee is struggling to fit in. Perhaps a seasoned veteran has lost the “Midas touch”. Perhaps an executive has lost confidence in his or her ability to lead. Perhaps a friend is silently suffering from anxiety. Perhaps a loved one needs a word of encouragement. They will not always tell us. It will not always be obvious. But the first step is to notice. To observe. To ask questions. To check in. Empathy starts with proactive curiosity.
But then we need to act. Share our perspective. Relate our own experiences. Listen intently. Offer advice. Tell someone they are not alone. Offer a simple Band-Aid. It doesn’t have to be dramatic or heroic. Action can be understated and unremarkable. But we can’t just think about it. We have to DO it.
We Are Never Alone
Why is this so important for resilience? Because, over the course of our lives, we will see both sides of suffering. There will be times when nothing will go our way. It will seem as if everything we do turns sour and no one is in our corner. It will be difficult to take another step. During these times, we need others to help us stay resilient. To help us put everything in perspective and bounce back. We can’t just “power through” on our own. We need that Band-Aid!
But when life is good and we climb back up the mountain, we have to recognize that not everyone is on our same upward journey. Taking a step back, noticing irregularities, and taking action is a lot harder when our own star is rising. But it is so important. Others are counting on us. And that care we show will strengthen our own resilience AND intensify our own appreciation when the tide turns against us.
Not every step in life is pain-free. Sometimes, the blisters come out of nowhere to halt our stride. Sometimes, we will feel as if we are suffering alone. But that is never the case. Someone notices. Someone cares. Someone will offer us a Band-Aid to ease our pain. And we will be ready with another Band-Aid when we notice suffering in others.