Will you ever forget your first “real” job?
In the Summer of 1991, I emerged from the cocoon of college and launched my brilliant sales “career”. I was fortunate enough to land a job with Standard Office Supply, a small, minority-owned business in Washington, DC. There was a mini-recession going on at the time and I was thankful to be gainfully employed!
It was a true baptism-by-fire commissioned-based job, selling office supplies door-to-door to various businesses. While I had some sales experience during my college summers, I had never managed a territory or prospected beyond people I actually knew.
On the first day, Dr. Milton Morris, the co-owner of the business and a brilliant entrepreneur, handed me a small list of companies to get started. These were both private companies and government agencies who had purchased office supplies in the past. It was time to dig in. Let’s get this bread!
But after two weeks, I had exhausted the entire list with little success. How was I supposed to survive? I went back to the source of my original leads.
“Dr. Morris, I’m afraid none of the companies you gave me want to buy right now. I guess I’m done until they change their minds.”
A wry smile slowly formed across his face followed by a giant cackle.
“I have faith you will figure it out.”
And with that, Dr. Morris walked away.
That was no help. What did he mean? I came to him for answers. Now it seemed my sales career was over before it started. But as the day wore on, I couldn’t shake his expression of both exasperation and giddiness. Clearly, I was missing something big. And clearly, it was up to me to figure it out.
Over the next few days, I studied the habits of the other salespeople. They were visiting buildings and walking floor by floor to sell office supplies. They weren’t working off a predetermined list. They were hustling to find clients, not to cross them off a piece of paper. The incredibly obvious now dawned on me. I had no idea what it meant to prospect! I had failed on an epic level. And figuring it out on my own deepened my embarrassment (Now I understood the ridiculousness of my conversation with Dr. Morris!). But it also deepened my resolve. Never again!
Dr. Morris could have lectured me. He could have condescended to me or even grown angry. But instead, he had enough faith in me to figure it out on my own. And he understood that failure is a great motivator. And sometimes it is the best option.
Failure Hurts. But it Gets Our Attention.
In our work lives, we never want to fail. But sometimes, we are so afraid, we grasp for the nearest lifeline. We look for solutions outside ourselves and hope someone will magically give us the answer. Surely our CEO will figure out the direction of the company. Surely my boss will remove the internal roadblocks to the sale. Surely, my client will understand my pitch the first time without follow up.
While advice and mentoring is always welcome, sometimes we have to be our own lifeline. Sometimes, we have to figure out the path forward without help. And sometimes we have to fail in order to be successful moving forward. Taking control of our own destiny heightens the feeling of accomplishment. But it also intensifies the devastation of failure. And that feeling will fuel our resilience. That failure might be the best thing that ever happens to us. Never again!
Failure Makes Us Stronger
The same is true in our personal lives. We can’t always rely on others to shield us from failure. Our parents won’t always be there to protect us. Our spouse may not always have the answer. Our family may have competing priorities. There is not always a Catcher in the Rye to save us from falling off the cliff.
And that may be a good thing. No one will be able to shield us from failure forever. At some point, we will have to fail on our own. And the longer we are protected, the harder it will be to recover from that failure. It’s not easy. It’s hard to see those closest to us struggle. But that failure will only make everyone stronger.
Failure Fuels Resilience
Dr. Morris could have provided me with all the answers. He could have advised me on the finer points of prospecting. But he knew the lesson would sink in much deeper if I figured it out on my own. And he knew that failure would intensify my competitive streak and resilience.
No one wants to look foolish. No one wants to suffer defeat and ridicule. People will tell you that failure is not an option. But if that failure strengthens our resolve and fuels our resilience, then failure might just be the best option!