Dexter Manley wants you to know something.

“I stood up in the mud and took life’s best shot.  And I got a second chance to live!”

Football fans of a certain age remember Dexter Manley as one of the fiercest defensive ends in the National Football League.   He finished his 11-year NFL career with over one hundred sacks and, more importantly, 2 Super Bowl rings with the Washington Redskins.

He had a knack for making huge plays in critical situations.  He was feared by opponents and loved by his teammates and fans.  His enthusiasm for football and life was infectious.

He was and is a living legend.

But Dexter Manley’s life is not a fairy tale. His heart-wrenching struggles and turbulent path is well-chronicled.  Dexter is a perfect reflection of the four pillars of  resilience: adversity, passion, perspective, and appreciation.  And his journey, while painful at times, inspires all of us to keep battling in our everyday lives.

This is not just a story about football.  This is not a story about sacks and Super Bowls and ticker-tape parades.  This is not a story about #72.

This is a story about Dexter Manley.  This is a story about unshakeable resilience.

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A Star is Born

Dexter Manley burst on to the National Football League scene in 1981 as a young and fearless 5th round draft pick for the Washington Redskins.  The former Oklahoma State star joined the Redskins the same year as their new and largely unproven head coach, Joe Gibbs, took the reins of a struggling franchise.

The two would be forever linked in the annals of Redskins history.  And they would be connected by a bond that still holds strong today.

Dexter Manley was massive, lightning-fast, and relentless.  He was the perfect weapon for kickoff and punt coverage in the NFL.  But Coach Gibbs wanted, and expected, more out of Manley.

He patiently worked with Dexter before and after practice to correct mistake after mistake.  Dexter had trouble grasping the playbook but Coach Gibbs never lost the faith.

Finally, in the 4th game of his rookie season, against the Philadelphia Eagles, Dexter Manley got his shot.  Starter Coy Bacon got into a verbal altercation with defensive coach Torgy Torgenson and was immediately benched.  Dexter was inserted in the lineup as a defensive end.  This is the moment he had been waiting for his entire life.

He finished the day with 2 and a half sacks of QB Ron Jaworski and remained the starter for the rest of his career with the Redskins.

Dexter Manley became a star.  Over the next 5 years, Dexter won two Super Bowls and had more quarterback sacks than anyone else in the National Football League.  He was exciting, exuberant and loquacious.  The town of Washington, DC fell in love with him.

But there were deep secrets lurking beneath the turbulent waters of Dexter Manley’s life.

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Coming to Grips With Illiteracy

Dexter Manley’s career was in high gear.  But the night of November 16th, 1985 had a huge impact on his life.

“Joe Theismann was a great leader and one of the toughest competitors I knew.  He was also the sharpest guy in the locker room.”

But on that fateful night, Theismann suffered a devastating and gruesome leg injury on Monday Night Football. 

“That was a wake-up call.   He had everything going for him and his career ended in an instant. This was a violent sport.  What would happen to me if I had the same injury? Looking back on it, that changed my life forever.” 

Why was Dexter so rattled by the injury?  Because it brought one of his deep secrets to the surface.

Dexter Manley could not read or write.

“I didn’t want people to know I had weaknesses.  It was a pride thing.  So I just kept pretending.”

That is why he made so many mistakes early on in his career.  That is why he had trouble grasping the defense.  Dexter could not read the playbook.

“I was going through life with a mask on.  And I was tired of looking down at my shoes all the time.”

Dexter enrolled in classes at The Washington Lab School in the  offseason.  They determined he was reading at a second-grade level.

It took hard work and perseverance, but Dexter was determined.  He kept taking classes and soon began working with The Literacy Foundation. He continued to go to The Literacy Foundation chapters in his new NFL stops in Phoenix and Tampa Bay.  He started to develop confidence.

“When I played in Phoenix and Tampa, I knew all the plays.  I could finally read the playbook!”

By the time Dexter’s NFL career ended in 1991, Dexter was reading at a high-school level.  Now that is resilience!

“Learning to read is the proudest accomplishment of my life.  It felt so good to take my ‘Boy George’ makeup off!”

(Note: For you Millennials and Baby Boomers, “Boy George” was the lead singer of “Culture Club”, a popular 80s rock band.  He was known for wearing heavy mascara and makeup.  Look it up!)

Dexter Manley had fought illiteracy with tenacity and grit.  But there were many more battles on the horizon.

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The End of His Playing Days

Dexter Manley won his battle with illiteracy.  But he was losing his battle against drugs.

Dexter started casually using cocaine in his second year in the league.  His habit progressed as the years rolled on.  But he was good at covering up his addiction.  It became part of his “Boy George” makeup.

But by 1989, Dexter’s makeup was starting to run.  He tested positive for cocaine and was suspended by NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle.  After that season, he was released by the Washington Redskins and caught on with the Phoenix Cardinals.

After a drug-free year in Phoenix, he was traded to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and fell in with a fast crowd.  He failed two more drug tests that season.  Manley’s agent, Bob Woolf, suggested that he retire before the NFL could ban him.

On December 12, 1991, Dexter Manley called a press conference and officially retired from the National Football League.

He played two more seasons in the Canadian Football League.   But by 1993, Dexter Manley’s football career was over.

“As a kid, it was my aspiration to play professional football.  Once I made it, I never thought it was going to end.”

It was a monumental struggle.

“I was depressed.  I felt sorry for myself.  There were dark clouds all around me.  I had nothing to ground me.”

Transition after retirement is always difficult for professional athletes.  It was particularly challenging for Dexter.  He was drifting and his identity was shaken to the core.

“Yes, there were the drugs.  But the real depression stemmed from not knowing who I was. “

Dexter Manley eventually cam to grips with life after football.  But he had to face his most menacing demons before breaking through.

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Life Off the Rails

Upon retirement, Dexter’s drug use got progressively worse.  Eventually, he was kicked out of his Reston, Virginia home and stayed on couches with friends and former teammates.  In 1994, he moved back to his home town of Houston.  Things got even worse from there.

“I was trying to destroy myself.  And doing a pretty good job!”

Dexter plowed through most of his savings from his NFL days.  He was kicked out of his apartment for failing to pay the rent and bounced around various crack houses and other decrepit establishments.

Dexter Manley, one of the greatest Redskins of all time, was homeless on the streets of Houston. 

Dexter’s drug abuse continued to escalate.  He was arrested the first time toward the end of 1994 for trying to buy crack cocaine.  He was arrested three more times within the year and spent brief stints in jail.  His life was completely off the rails.

In late 1995, he was arrested again on drug possession and sentenced to 4 years in Federal Prison (he served 15 months).  It was the low point in a sea of low points for Dexter Manley.

He was depressed, incarcerated, alone and broke.  But support from two people kept Dexter resilient during this harrowing time.

About a week into his sentence, a guard came up and instructed Dexter to change out of his orange jumpsuit into a white jumpsuit.  He had a visitor.

“I knew it was someone important.  I thought it might be the Governor.  I was just excited that I wouldn’t be alone.”

To his shock, in walked Coach Joe Gibbs!

“I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.   Coach Gibb’s faith was unshakeable. He talked the talk and walked the walk!”

(At this point, Dexter becomes emotional. Even today, some eighteen years later, Dexter can’t hold it in.)

“Coach Gibbs left a permanent footprint in my being.”

But the letters he received from Lydia Lang, an old high school classmate whom he had re-connected with in 1988, ultimately sustained him.

Lydia wrote him just about every day. It calmed Dexter. It was a beautiful feeling to know he wasn’t alone in his darkest hour.

And it sparked an even deeper bond between them. A few months after getting out of prison, in 1997, Dexter and Lydia were married.

Dexter tried hard to stay off the drugs for Lydia. She would leave when Dexter relapsed. That was incentive for Dexter to get his life back together. But addiction is not so simple.  It takes more than desire.  It takes more than will power.

“I bounced around to every rehab facility you can imagine. Betty Ford. Hazelden. You name it. I wanted to get better for Lydia. But I couldn’t shake it.”

And so the pattern continued. Finally, in 2004, after yet another relapse, Dexter was connected with Second Genesis, a non-profit that helped drug-addicted men stay clean. They decided to move Dexter and Lydia back to Washington, DC. It was time for a much-needed change of scenery.

Dexter Manley had battled illiteracy. He was in the midst of his battle with drugs. But little did he realize that his greatest battle was yet to come.

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Life-Changing Surgery

On June 17, 2006, Dexter Manley relapsed for the final time.

“It was 4am and I was walking around the streets of DC. I was not in good shape.”

The police noticed Dexter behaving erratically and called for reinforcements.

“I found myself surrounded by Caucasian cops. Normally, that’s not good for someone like me.”

(With that, Dexter lets out a booming, infectious laugh).

The police officers knew Dexter was under the influence. But they also suspected something else was wrong with him. Instead of jail, they took Dexter to the Washington Hospital Center.

“I can honestly say those police officers saved my life. I am so grateful.”

Dexter was evaluated and released back into Lydia’s care. But he was still not well.   Two days later, on Father’s Day, Lydia took Dexter to Georgetown Hospital. The doctor’s found a silver-dollar-sized carotid cyst on his brain! He was lucky to be alive.

Many years earlier, at the peak of his football career in 1986, Dexter had collapsed in Georgetown, and doctors found a nickel-sized cyst on his brain. They wanted to monitor the growth every six months. But Dexter never followed up and put it out of his mind. He was a football player.

It was yet another layer of his “Boy George” makeup.

But now it was reckoning day.

Dexter Manley immediately underwent 15-hour brain surgery. It was a dangerous and grueling procedure. But it was successful on so many levels.

Dexter Manley was alive. But he also had a brand-new perspective on his life.

“I was forever changed. I started asking myself ‘How do I want my kids to remember me?’ ‘How can I take care of Lydia?’ The rear-view mirror is no way to live life. I was ready to move forward.”

And it allowed him to get in touch with his religious side.

“In the NFL, I was all about me. Selfish. But now I realized there was a higher power. God had changed my life!”

But there was an even more profound impact of the surgery. It may have been the physical effects of the cyst controlling the impulses of his brain. It may have been Dexter’s new-found perspective. But one thing is certain.

Dexter Manley has been clean and sober since the day he underwent surgery!

“I finally surrendered. I was no longer bound by addiction.”

Dexter Manley slayed illiteracy, successfully battled drug addiction and survived major brain surgery. And through it all, he never lost his passion and appreciation for life.

And he can still light up a room with his electric smile today.

Now that is resilience!

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Dexter Manley Today—Life is Good!

Maybe it was his relentless effort on the field. Maybe it was his knack for making game-changing plays. Maybe it was his unbridled enthusiasm and contagious smile. Maybe it was his combination of swagger and relatable charm. But whatever it was, it seems everyone rooted for Dexter Manley.

So, when people see him around Washington, DC today, whether it is at Hannah’s Barber Shop in Bethesda, or at Il Porto in Gaithersburg, or at Balducci’s in Wildwood, they want to believe he is in a good place. But the question still lingers in the air:

How is Dexter really doing?

“I’m paying the bills. I’m making ends meet just fine. More than fine.”

Where is he generating the income?

“I played 11 seasons in the NFL. That’s a pretty good pension.   They take care of me. Plus, I have a few endorsements and people pay me to speak. Imagine that!”

But not every day is easy. The brain surgery and years of drug abuse took a toll. Sometimes, Dexter will repeat himself. Sometimes, he will forget little things. But he is still sharp. He is still blessed with awareness and an enthusiastic outlook.

“To be aware is to be alive. And I’m alive!”

And his triumph over illiteracy is still paying huge dividends.

“Without reading and writing, I wouldn’t be able to make any income. If I had sat on my hands and done nothing, I wouldn’t be in this position. But I didn’t. I took action!”

And what is Dexter reading today?

“I read the newspaper every day. And I’m currently reading James Comey’s book ‘A Higher Loyalty’. Fascinating!”

Dexter and Lydia have now been married for 21 years. Her guidance and stability during the tumultuous times has only strengthened their bond. And when Dexter celebrated 12 years of sobriety last June, Lydia was just as proud.

And Dexter is just as proud of his own family. He has three children (Dallis, Derek and Dexter) and 5 grandchildren. He is involved in all of their lives.  Life is good, indeed!

He also stays in touch with a number of his old friends from the Redskins. Doug Williams hosts a Football camp in The Bahamas and invites Dexter and Lydia each year.

And Dexter is about to launch his own podcast with fellow Redskins legend Charles Mann. The title? “The Manley Mann Show!”

He also sees Redskins greats Vernon Dean, Art Monk, and Darryl Green, among others.

“Bruce Allen’s father [George] was big on veterans. And Bruce has carried on that tradition by bringing the Redskins alumni back.”

But what about Coach Gibbs?

“Of course! I see him all the time. And I always go to his ‘Youth for Tomorrow’ events.”

Some bonds will never be broken.

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What Does It Mean for Us?

Dexter Manley’s journey from NFL star to his battle with illiteracy and drug addiction, to his survival of major brain surgery, is the epitomy of resilience. He overcame major adversity. He attacked his life with passion. He gained an amazing new perspective through his struggles. And he developed an incredible appreciation for all the people who helped him in his difficult journey.

And the lessons Dexter learned along the way apply to all of our lives.

How many of us take action instead of passively sitting back and accepting our fate?

How many of us refuse to let our work define us?

How many of us appreciate all the blessings in our life?

How many of us have the stamina to keep on fighting in the darkest hours?

How many of us stand up for someone in their time of need?

How many of us look forward instead of living life in the rear view mirror?

How many of us are too proud to ask for help?

How many of us keep our “Boy George” makeup on our entire lives?

We need to keep fighting. We need to keep moving forward. We need to constantly take action against the negativity that surrounds us.

The battle is never easy. But the battle is never lost. Hope can be found in our most difficult moments.

Dexter Manley stood in the mud and took life’s best shots. And he is still standing tall today.

Thank you, Dexter. Your incredible story of unshakeable resilience is an inspiration for all of us.

Until next week, keep smiling!