The Clark Family snuck away last week for a short, impromptu vacation to Wrightsville Beach, NC. As the revised mask mandates loomed up North, and our resiliency reservoirs were running low, the beach would be the perfect respite to restore and replenish. And it was glorious!
The beach in Wrightsville was wide and inviting, with a perfect water temperature and long, rolling waves. Our girls were up on surfboards every morning and we soaked in every last ray of sunshine at sunset. But it was the laid-back town that truly set things apart. Nothing fancy. No pretension. Just good food, nice people and dive bars. The ultimate recipe for unplugging!
Years ago, I had spent some time at The Red Dog Bar in the center of the small town. As we sought out this idyllic oasis some 25 years later, I quickly noticed that not much had changed. There was a slight name change (“Jimmy’s at Red Dog Bar”) but the atmosphere was exactly as I had remembered. It was still a PBR-can, sawdust-on-the-floor, live-music beach bar. Ahhhhhhh.
But the sign out front set the tone more than the atmosphere inside:
“You don’t have to be a customer to use our bathroom. We probably have change for the meters.”
Ring! Ring! I’ve been expecting your call!
It was so simple. Just a mater-of-fact-sign. But it was exactly what I needed at the time. This is a place that understands how to treat customers. This is a place where all are welcomed without judgement. This is a place that assumes good intentions. And couldn’t we all use more of that in our everyday lives?
Default to Trust
In this age of remote office work, we all need to assume good intentions. Managers have to trust that their employees are professional enough to work toward their goals and keep their eye on the ball from their virtual cubicles. Employees have to trust that upper management will maintain the strategic direction of the company and establish new lines of communication in an unstructured environment. Things break down when we assume everyone is just playing solitaire at home!
And we have to continue to go that extra mile for our customers. They can be demanding and take advantage of market conditions, but we need to understand that they are feeling uncertainty and pressure as well. It’s not personal. Sometimes we need to provide services that won’t pay immediate dividends. Sometimes, we have to willingly offer them change for the meters. But that small amount of empathy and service will go a long way.
Go the Extra Mile
And the same is true in our family lives. Parents have to offer freedom for their children to make their own decisions. They have to trust that they have instilled proper morals and let them fly. And children have to assume good intentions about their parents. Not everything is as it seems. Sometimes difficult conversations and decisions come from a place of overwhelming love.
Sibling rivalry. Aging parents. Financial discord. Things can escalate quickly. But we have to understand we are all just a little overwhelmed. Not everyone expresses themselves with perfect calmness and clarity. It’s still family. We are all just doing the best we can. Sometimes, we have to be willing to go that extra mile. We can’t always dig in and turn people away. Sometimes, we have to welcome people into our place that may not be obvious customers.
A Resilient Mindset
But what happens when we invite them in and they take advantage? We assume good intentions and they walk all over us? Employees slack off. Managers bury their heads in the sand. Teenagers abuse their freedom. Parents check out. Family members go off the rails. It’s gonna happen. There are times we need to shake the trees and drop the hammer. Assuming good intentions doesn’t mean that we are doormats. Destructive actions will have consequences.
But we can’t put up walls and assume everyone is out to get us. Our mindset needs to default to trust. And inclusion. And assuming good intentions from people. That will open up so many more opportunities for us to be happy. That will allow us to forge even closer relationships. That will be the recipe to leading a resilient life.
The sign outside Red Dog’s Bar did not change the world. But it did make that little corner of Main Street USA just a little bit better. Assume good intentions. And grab a cold can of PBR while you’re at it.