If you grew up in the 1980’s, or if you have a penchant for classic movies, you are likely familiar with the brilliant catalogue of John Hughes films. Ferris Buehler’s Day Off. Weird Science. The Breakfast Club. Just to name a few.
And, with the exception of Planes, Trains and Automobiles (another classic!), all of the Hughes-directed films dealt with upper, middle-class teens in some degree of angst. But the films were layered with an unmistakable heart that produced a long tail of nostalgia that still resonates today.
While so many of these films live on in the pantheon of greatness, one of the most iconic and impactful films was actually Hughes’ first endeavor, Sixteen Candles.
Sixteen Candles launched the career of Molly Ringwald and switched the tone of teen comedies from raunchy to real. It also gave a heroic voice to the outcasts and the geeks, personified by Farmer Ted (played brilliantly by (my 80s twin!) Anthony Michael Hall.
In one classic scene, Farmer Ted comes clean and admits that he doesn’t exactly run with the coolest crowd.
“I’m kinda like the leader, ya know. Kinda like the King of the Dipsh*ts!”
Exactly.
The scene got me thinking. Haven’t we all been king (or queen!) of the dipsh*ts at some point in our lives? Of course! And that is a very good thing!
Where Are You on the Mountain?
At some point, we may have been at the top of our small hill. The best athlete in our high school. The fastest person in our workout group. The lead salesperson in a boutique firm. The best lawyer in a tiny practice. The CEO of a small, private company. We were comfortable and confident in our diminutive world. We may not have realized it at the time, but we were the King (or Queen) of the Dipsh*ts! Then we moved onward and upward to another phase in our lives, and started back at the bottom of the hill.
Suddenly, we weren’t even the best athlete in our college dorm room (and we only had one other roommate!). We upgraded our training group and couldn’t keep up with the top echelon of runners. We moved to a bigger firm and our sales lingered in the middle of the pack or we weren’t trusted with the top cases. Our company was purchased by a large, public institution and we settled into middle management. What happened to our cozy, rolling hill? Who put this mountain in our path?
Nobody Stays On Top Forever
It can be incredibly intimidating and humbling to shed our smaller universe and move into the “big leagues”. Everyone seems more experienced, stronger, faster, and smarter. How will we survive? Is it possible to slink back to our smaller mound and continue to wear our crown?
Nonsense!
If we are going to stay resilient and continue to grow, we have to recognize that life is full of journeys from ever-steepening hills to mountains. And there will be multiple trips up and down each incline. Sometimes we will be at the top. Sometimes, we will be at the bottom. But if we keep moving forward and channel our inner confidence, we will eventually end up back on top of a larger mountain!
Conquer Your Own Mountain Before Moving On to Others
Where will we find that confidence? We will find it by spending at least some portion of our lives as King of the Dipsh*ts! If we have the patience and the work ethic to be the best in something, no matter how insignificant, it gives us the poise and tenacity to take on new challenges. We can build on our success. We can expand our little corner of the world. Our victories may seem inconsequential to the masses but, deep down, we know that we have earned our view at the top of the mountain. And once we have experienced that feeling, we can tap into that strength throughout our lives.
Problems arise when we try to move off our hill to seek mountains before earning the right to be King (or Queen!) of the Dipsh*ts! We want to play Varsity without excelling on JV. We want to handle complex sales without mastering the transactional. We want to try the landmark case without dominating traffic court. We want to run a giant team without earning our stripes as an individual contributor.
It is important to exhibit the motivation and drive to constantly move up and improve our situation. But we need to conquer our own hill before we set our sights on the top of another!
Everyone Deserves A Place At the Top
There are so many hills and mountains in our lives. Even with all our talent and effort, we will not be at the top of every single one. We may get stuck in the middle. We may find that we need to climb back down for our own health and well-being. We may find that the mountains don’t suit us. That is life and that is okay. We don’t always have to abandon our hill. But we can always work toward a goal. We can always work for improvement! And the best way to accelerate the ascent is to leverage the confidence we gain from spending time as King (or Queen!) of the Dipsh*ts!
Everyone deserves a place to feel comfortable and confident. Everyone deserves, even for a few fleeting moments, to stand at the top of the mountain! Farmer Ted was a self-proclaimed geek. But he was true to himself and he was not afraid to move on to conquer another mountain. And he did this by leveraging the confidence he gained from spending time as the King of the Dipsh*ts!