He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, is the happiest of all. –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Team sports mirror our everyday lives in so many ways.  It requires an inordinate amount of hard work.  There are crushing lows, ultimate highs, and the need for endless resilience to bounce back over and over.  In the end, win or lose, we can draw satisfaction and joy from leaving it all on the field.    The journey is the reward.

But some destinations are sweeter than others.  And so my daughter beamed ear-to-ear minutes after Notre Dame captured their first-ever men’s lacrosse national championship.  Her first cousin (my godson!) and her boyfriend are both midfielders on the team, and she had been following their success and struggle throughout the season.  When the final whistle blew, the elation and joy on her face was palpable.  Let the party begin!

As we walked over toward the celebratory tailgate, she couldn’t contain her excitement.

“They’ve been through so much. It’s just amazing.”

And then she paused and turned philosophical.

I never knew I could feel this happy for other people. It’s better than being happy for myself.”

Bam!  Welcome to adulthood!  It was such a simple statement. But the takeaways are so powerful.  As we mature and grow in our families and career, the ability to not only have empathy but also take joy in the success of others is one of the keys to a resilient life.

It’s Not About Us

As teammates, we all have goals and want to contribute with our talent.  But that doesn’t always happen.  Injuries, setbacks, and personnel and strategy schemes may not work out in our favor.   But isn’t the ultimate goal to help the team in any way possible?  Doesn’t it feel so much better to root for the players on the field to bring glory to the team and not the individual?  Expressing joy and deriving happiness from the success of others is the ultimate expression of the team sport mentality.  And this spills over into so many other facets of our lives.

As parents, we still have goals, dreams, and milestones we set for ourselves.  We have our own lives and celebrate our success.  But at some point, the safety, well-being, and happiness of our children trumps any good fortune that might happen to us.  The expression “you are only as happy as your least happy child” rings true.  It doesn’t mean that we deny ourselves or only live vicariously through our children.  It simply means that we are less self-focused and stretch our capacity for empathy and love.

As managers, our greatest success is not our own accomplishments.  If a member of our team is successful and happy, that is what it is all about.  We need to celebrate those achievements and show genuine enthusiasm and joy.  There is no room for jealousy or stifling of ideas.  When the team succeeds, we succeed.

As salespeople, we have to remember that it is not about us, it’s about the clients we serve.  We need to keep their happiness and success factors in mind.  We need to root for their accomplishments and take genuine satisfaction when they hit their goals.  It forms the basis for a bona fide partnership.    And if our client is happy and successful, that will eventually flow back to us.

It All Comes Back Around

And the best part of all?  This honest enthusiasm for the success of others will give us strength in our low moments.  During times of strife and uncertainty, we will need all the help we can get.  If we have spent our lives rooting for and supporting the happiness of those we love, it will help fuel our own resilience.  We can tap into that positive reservoir that we have built up over the years to keep moving forward.  And we will find that the people we have been rooting for the hardest will be there for us when resilience is needed the most.

Everyone wants to hoist the trophy.  But sometimes, it is even more gratifying to step back and revel in the happiness of others as they celebrate.  Sometimes our greatest moments in life happen to other people.  And the sooner we realize how fulfilling and gratifying it is to take joy in the accomplishments of others, the sooner we will achieve our own happiness.