“Now I Don’t Even Feel the Sting!”

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.  One fails forward toward success. –C.S. Lewis

It was quite possibly the largest underground bees nest I had ever seen.  Right under a huge root in the cherry tree in my front yard.  Literally hundreds of yellow jackets swarming incessantly day and night.  What was a homeowner to do?  Womack Pest Control to the rescue!

The exterminator showed up full of enthusiasm and energy.  He confirmed he had never seen a nest that massive and was eager for the challenge.  I was equally intrigued and followed him out to lay waste to the evil empire of bees.  Hasta La Vista, baby!  But the exterminator was not looking for a partner in crime. He stopped me in my tracks with a serious stare.

“This might take a while.”

And then he dramatically paused.

“You better go back inside.”

Yeah, probably a good idea.

As I watched him work, I couldn’t believe the mass of bee hysteria surrounding him.  They were genuinely not happy with this insecticide-toting invader, and feverishly buzzed around his head and over his clothes.  Jobs I never want for a $1000, please!

After what seemed an eternity, the battle was complete and the carnage was strewn before him.  I decided it was safe to go outside and couldn’t wait to find out what was going through his mind at the height of the swarm.

“I used to be a little afraid.  Every now and then the bees get through the mesh. The anticipation of the sting is an unnerving feeling at first.”

I can only imagine!

“But after a few stings, I settled down.  It’s not too bad once you’ve lived through it a thousand times.  Now I don’t even feel the sting!”

The Exterminator Philosopher strikes again!  And isn’t that true of all the stings in our work and personal lives?

Failure Breeds Confidence

The very thought of getting stung the first time sends most of us into a state of paralysis.  We are so afraid of failure that we don’t even try for the promotion.  We are so afraid of ridicule, we never present our unique idea.  We are so afraid of getting cut, we don’t even try out for the team.  We are so afraid of rejection, we never ask anyone out. It is the threat of the sting that stops us in our tracks.  And the more we freeze in fear, the scarier and more menacing those stings become.  And that is not a recipe for a resilient life!

No one welcomes a brutal stinging.  We do not set out to antagonize the nest.  But the very act of going for our dreams, taking a risk, or following our gut inherently comes with potential downside.  What if we fail?  What if we become a laughing stock?  What if the pain outweighs the reward?  There is never any guarantee of success.  But the more we act and the more we fail, the more we realize that those stings don’t kill us. In fact, we may come to realize that the adrenaline from taking bold action, numbs the little stings along the way.  With those minor defeats behind us, we are even more emboldened to try something again and again until we get it right.  With the proper mindset, failure breeds confidence!

Inaction is the Most Painful Sting

Resilience is rooted in setbacks.  Quite literally. We can be resilient if we never fail.  And the only way to ensure we never fail is to never try.  Does that sound like a life worth living? With enough experience at failure we soon find that those little stings motivate us rather than crush us.  And we look at the alternative with a whole perspective.  The most painful stings in life come from the regret of never acting on our dreams rather than the sting of going down swinging.

Our dreams don’t have to be grandiose and metamorphic.  Maybe we have a suggestion on how to improve our office culture.  Maybe we want to pivot away from a toxic situation.  Maybe we just want to tell someone how much they mean to us.  Whatever it is, we can’t be afraid of the anticipation of the sting.   We can’t freeze like a deer in the headlights.  We have to dive in. We have to let the thoughts in our head play out on the field of action.

Just try to breathe.  After enough fearless effort, you won’t even feel the sting.