Keep your face always toward the sunshine—and shadows will fall behind you. —Walt Whitman

If ever there was a year that tested our resilience, 2020 was it!  The global pandemic brought us to our knees in so many ways.  As we continue to struggle physically, economically, and socially, we look to the hope and promise of ringing in better times in 2021.  But what do we make of the events of the past year?  How do we do a retrospective on a year so full of fear and frustration?

The good news is that we have choices.  First, we could go with the old-fashioned “fast-forward” mentality.  That is, we can bury everything that has happened and pray for the fast-forward button on our lives.  Some day things will return to normal, and let’s just hunker down until the coast is clear.

Or we can adopt the attitude of the ancient Stoics.  Part of the Stoic philosophy (paraphrased)  is to constantly look at the world and say “Things could be worse!”  This happiness by comparison perspective can work well in certain circumstances.  For instance, there is no doubt that the pandemic has taken an enormous emotional toll.  But what about the citizens of London during the Blitzkrieg?  Every night, they had to leave the comfort of their homes, huddle underground with strangers all night, and then return every morning hoping their home was not reduced to rubble.  Surely we have it better than them?

But, while both of these perspectives, “fast-forward” and “things could be worse” can be effective, I think we can do better!  And it has to do with choosing how we view the current situation.

Much Has Been Taken Away, But Much Has Been Given

To be sure, it is a difficult time.  We shouldn’t try to sugarcoat it.  There has been real loss along the journey.  And, yes, it could always be worse.  But do we want to fast-forward through every single moment of 2020?  Has nothing good happened in the last 9 months since the pandemic lockdown emerged?  Let’s take some time to reflect.

To help get the creative juices flowing, I took a closer look at my own year.  Certainly not the most lucrative.  And a lot of stress on the homefront with various levels of online learning, dirty dishes, and general teenage angst.  But, if I change the filter, and focus on the bright spots, I find there are moments I not only don’t want to discard, but that I  actually treasure.  And, taking this exercise one step further, I find that many of these moments would not have been possible without the specter of the pandemic.

And so, here is my list of Top 10 personal memories from 2020 enabled by the pandemic:

  1. All four of our kids at home to enjoy the Cherry Blossoms on the street in April (and more manpower to help with the mulch!).
  2. Covert missions across the border to enjoy some undercover Virginia golf.
  3. With activities canceled, the opportunity to experience several Saturday Bratwursts at the turn in Poolesville.
  4. A late Fall Valhalla trip down to the beach for more golf.
  5. Another late Fall trip down to Durham for some (do you see a pattern here?) more golf and comradery (Again, would not have been possible in a non-pandemic world).
  6. Family Movie Nights with Jen Clark and the kids.
  7. More time to plan and execute “Operation Sport Court” in the backyard.
  8. Long walks in the neighborhood with Jen Clark (had literally NEVER taken a walk in the neighborhood, in my life)
  9. The opportunity to perform several virtual events and speeches that did not require travel or juggling schedules.
  10. The opportunity to have the most organized storage room in Clark history.

There you have it.  Nothing earth-shattering.  Essentially, golf and projects.  But incredibly meaningful as I reflect.  And not possible without the current world order.  What would be on your list?

Focus on the Upside

Of course, for many of us, much more has been taken away than given.  At the end of the day, we wish this whole mess had never happened.  But we have no control over the situation.  And no ability to change what has happened.  We do, however, have the ability to change how we view it!

So be careful “fast-forwarding” through the challenging parts of your life.  You might lose some great moments as you blow through the difficult ones.  And be careful with the “things could be worse” comparison.  It might not be as relevant.

Yes, 2020 could have been worse.  Good riddance, nonetheless.  And 2021 will most assuredly be better.  But true resilience requires a fresh perspective.  Choose to focus on the little moments that bring you happiness.  And learn to love the things you already have.